Heaven Forbid
by ResplendentQuetzal
Summary: Sometimes perfectly good people just don't belong in a set place, or time. Hoping to escape this, Karin takes her life to the soul society. Following comes the usual shenanigans, friendship, drama and maybe even love. Please read and enjoy!
1. Heaven Forbid

Okay, so maybe I will never finish my One Piece stories, but I have the wonders of a net book to help me with this! So goodbye to having to spend hours struggling to read my hand writing and typing up written pages, providing they hadn't gone for a wander, been accidentally binned, or generally vanished from existence. Anyway, enjoy!  
>-Ressie<p>

* * *

><p><em>Heaven forbid, you end up alone,<br>and don't know why.  
>Hold on tight, wait 'til tomorrow,<br>you'll be alright.__**  
>-The Fray<strong>_

Karin asked herself again why she was there. In the human world she'd done everything possible to ignore or remove the effects of her high spiritual energy - seeing spirits, fighting hollows, she didn't want any of it. She wasn't her brother, and where as he felt the compassion to save every lost and lonely soul out there, they scared her, she felt their pain too much and it became her own, which only lead her to become angry at herself and her lack of care. So why the hell had she enrolled in the Shinigami Academy?

Oh yeah, because the real world sucked. As a child being a tomboy had suited her like the stars to the night - guys were simple, they were funny and they liked playing football. They didn't try to do pretty things in your hair that left it in knots, or plaster you in play make up but at high school life got harder. Suddenly it was awkward playing sport with them as their physical strength grew in comparison to hers, and they no longer felt comfortable to make crude jokes around her, often stopping themselves midsentence in order to avoid the many anti-feminist jokes that are so common amongst teenage boys in order to avoid offending her, and probably an arse kicking. And that was the thing, she was no longer one of the guys but all the girls saw her as too boyish to fit in with them. At about fourteen she'd gone to a sleepover, her first and only, and everyone there had been so excited that Kurosaki Karin, ladette extraordinaire, was about to be converted to the ways of the girls. So much so she spent the night watching arguments unfold over who would do which parts of her make-up, what would look best on her, if her hair would look better curly or straight, up or down. All those things they'd established for each other years before. The next morning she'd left for home as soon as she was dressed and awake, running into the bathroom and for the first time since her mother died, broke her oath never to cry again. The make up they'd hurriedly trowelled on her was garish and clown like, her hair an apparently birds' nest. Was this supposed to make her look beautiful? Improve her appearance? But did that mean that naturally she looked worse than this, was she really that ugly? After scrubbing her face raw and brushing her hair out until her scalp burned she finally left her hide to find Ichigo waiting outside. Neither said anything, they didn't have to. He just hugged her, trying to give her the reassurance only an older brother could, wishing she could cry in front of him just so he would be able to wipe away her tears and tell her everything was okay. Yuzu didn't speak to her either, but for the opposite reason. She couldn't understand. As the perfect example of female youth, she didn't see how it affected her sister and for the first time, the twins realized that they really were two different people. Two completely separate souls, and for those days neither had ever felt more alone.

She'd endured high school with loose friendships with her male friends, and flitting in and out of Yuzu's social group. It wasn't that there was anything wrong with her; it just wasn't the right place at the right time. There were moments when she felt like she was a mistake, and that girls like her were destined to life like this, but then there would always seem to be a convenient visit from Rukia, even more aggressive and loudmouthed than herself, and she saw how perfectly she could fit in with the humans: Orihime, Chad, Ishida and her brother. Especially her brother, it would take an idiot not to notice how in love they were with each other despite their feeble denials. It meant that Ichigo deciding to spent half his time in Soul Society as the temporary captain of the 5th squad was of no surprise to her, but he'd spent more time saying goodbye to her than anyone else. He'd been her rock since that night she'd tried so hard to fit in but they were both starting to realize she needed to stand on her own again, as she used to do so well. And did so until graduation, where she decided that maybe the Soul Society would prove a better, happier and more useful education than any real world college.

Ah, so that was why. Though in all honesty the first three months there had been going like a dream, the first two weeks in Soul Society were spent in the Kuchiki lands with Rukia, who gave her a crash course on shinigami life, then she was transferred to the academy a fortnight before term began, spending that getting to know some of her fellow students and developing the first tender bonds. Following that class had begun, and she slipped in to the life like she was born for it. In spirit bodies, the difference in strength between male and female was barely there, the women, for they were women not girls, were mostly uncaring for appearance having come from Rukongai and valued instead strength, honesty and character, those things which Karin could claim to have. Then there were the children of current shinigami, who treated her with a far superior respect than they treated her Rukongai comrades - she was the brother of Kurosaki-taicho after all. The only remnants of her old life were in the form of the nobles' children who were arrogant, either expecting her to conform to their believe of what she should be or what they wanted her to be, for many of them were ready to use her for her connections to Ichigo and through him the higher ranking members of the Gotei 13. Her new comfort and belief in herself stopped them from getting to her as humans had done, and she began to enjoy herself in occasionally mocking them for their lack of knowledge of life and common sense. She knew it wasn't their fault they were so sheltered but when a girl was all but begging to be set up with Ichigo, who was she to deny her hope? Okay, so maybe after an hour of conversation around him she'd had to break the news he was involved to Rukia but it wasn't her fault someone had considered herself above believe that specific piece of gossip that everyone in soul society knew of.

Neither was it Karin's fault that, like Ichigo, she had an abhorrently high level of spirit pressure nor that she seemed to excel at everything thrown at her, which had finally resulted in the smashing of those delicate forming bonds with her removal from the regular class and placing into the advanced class. Of the year above. So back to square one it was. At least her first lesson of the day was sword skills, the best of her subjects and the most predictable in terms of lesson structure. As suspected, all the students filed in and took the benches around the edge of the dojo. The back and highest tiered ones went first, not because the students were delinquents and couldn't get far enough away from their teacher, but as a safety measure to be as far away from the fight as possible. Despite this the bench Karin was sat on, at the back, remained empty until all but the front row remained. At that time two begrudging men sat at the opposite end of the bench to her and ignored her completely. Karin took a deep breath. No, she'd done so well so far. This wasn't going to get to her. She buried her head in her hands and decided to stay like that until the lesson started.

Only a few minutes in she herd some mumbling and commotion coming from her reluctant company. Looking around she saw they had gone and in their place were three younger looking students, all appearing in late teens. One had taken the minimal space to her right; it seemed he had been the only member of the group narrow enough to fit in it, and the other two to her left.  
>"It's Kurosaki Karin isn't it?" Said the slim guy, extending out a hand, "Yakan Kage." She shook it and his closed lip smile spread further, Karin felt the edges of her mouth lift in return. Despite the harshly angled structure and cold slate eyes, his face seemed to hold nothing but warmth, aided by the light splash of freckles that looked too childish to belong with such severe features. "These people," he pointed to the other two on the bench, "Are Sento Masaru," a broad featured and broad shouldered boy gave a nod, "and Arashi Tomoko," the red haired girl next to Karin offered an enthusiastic wave.<br>"Welcome to our class," she said, grin almost taking over her lower face. Much with Kage, Tomoko's face was warm and inviting. However where his had been calm and gentle like a summer's day, hers was like electricity or wildfire – all young, fresh and excited, her bright green eyes almost burning with, what Karin assumed, a pure and simple love of life. In turn, Karin then cast a look at the final member of the trio – Maseru. If she were likening them to the aura they gave, he would have to be like a sparkler; warm, fun and cheeky, but without the slightly erratic edge she felt from the girl. Like a middle ground for the company he kept.

Karin was about to form a reply for them when their teacher for this lesson, a middle aged member of the eleventh squad, called for silence and got his wish immediately. This was neither a disruptive nor was he a person to be disobeyed. Unlike in the real world there were few rules about what was considered a sufficient punishment for misbehaving students and it was well known that the eleventh squad members enjoyed exercising their superiority over the training, and therefore weaker, shinigami.

"We'll be starting today with kendo, and for those of you who still don't quite understand," he looked pointedly at Tomoko her only response was to press her lips into a narrow line, "two hands on your katana at all times and you are to use the katana and the katana alone to attack. Obviously today we'll just be using bokken but the point of this is that when you first materialize your zanpakuto, it will be a basic katana. So learn. To. Use. It"  
>A student on the far side of the room made the fatal mistake of raising his hand and offering a contradictory point, "What about Kenpachi-taicho and Kurosaki-taicho, their zanpakutos only ever had shikai. Or-"<p>

"They are some of those most powerful captains ever to have existed, you think you can compare to them?" The student shrunk back into his seat, but at the mention of her brother, Karin felt many of the eyes in the room shifting over to her. Her new apparent friends however, kept their unbothered composure. The teacher continued by requesting his latest student victim come to the front and take a ready position, only to have it violently dissected. After, the class were to come to the front and remove a tile from the bag he produced. There were two of each tile and those with matching symbols were to spar. Karin jumped suddenly as she felt Tomoko's chin resting on her shoulder, making a disappointed sound.

"We're sparring."  
>"And that's a bad thing because?" Karin mentally halted, only to realize that the minor part of her that had been concerned her sarcasm would be offensive was overreacting, as the other girl continued as normal.<br>"I suck, so resorting to cheap tricks, physical combat, or just doing anything underhand is my solution. Only, you're new, you seem pretty cool and I would feel bad. So, I actually have to fight properly."

Unsure of whether she was expected to reply and if so with what, she chose to just nod and laughed, giving a confused apology as they found an area to themselves. They stood about nine paces apart, feet shoulder width apart, grounded. Karin flexed her knees a little, where as Tomoko's were looked into a slight crouch, coiled and leaving her ready to spring forward when the chance came.

"Fight!"

Karin barely had time to take a defensive stance before the smaller girl threw herself into the battle, though almost immediately after the blow, the pressure behind it dropped, allowing Karin to push her back off, before striking herself, only to have her blow barely parried. Tomoko found herself off balance and threw an arm out to save from falling, blocking Karin's next blow single handed. Remember her teacher's pointed look before, she returned both hands to the bokken handle, just in time to deflect Karin again. Seeing what was likely to be her only opening, Tomoko launched herself forward – to feel a hit to her then unprotected stomach. With a grunt she tripped and fell, momentarily assessing for serious damage before standing and offering a small smile,  
>"Sorry, that must have been easier than in your regular class."<p>

"Arashi, students on their first day would have been harder to beat then that poor effort." The professor walked over, completely dismissive of his student's efforts. "However Kurosaki, you obviously share the same bold genes as your brother; going in for a hit rather than playing it safe and trying to block that last blow. You had me worried you were going to lose to _her_for a second, but still, good effort."

He sauntered off, over to where Kage and a short muscular man were in an intense lock. "I swear I must have done something to him in one of my past lives," muttered Tomoko, "I'm ridiculously easy to beat and yet he thought for a second you might lose? Either he's an eleventh squad grunt who doesn't understand sense or he just enjoys insulting me."  
>"Both?" Karin offered with a smile, feeling a happy warmth as the other girl laughed.<br>"Likely."

* * *

><p>Ta da! Introductory chapter to grown up Karin and the OCs = done! I'm thinking having a little time skip and bringing in some Hitsugaya goodness next chapter. Please review, add to story watch, all that jazz if you liked it :D<p> 


	2. Absolute

So time for a little time skips, I guess this is probably the start of the next academic year since the last chapter. I have no idea why, I imagine the academy is supposed to take about five years, should probably be longer but that'd be impractical for this xD So to clear, this is the start of this class's (is that 's right? :s) third year. With regards to the zanpakuto materialisation it's like a massive mush of the little we've been shown plus a little bit of imagination – so the caves in the diamond dust rebellion, Zangetsu coming out of the hole left by Ichigo's chain of fate etc. As before, enjoy!  
>-Ressie<p>

* * *

><p>Kage rolled onto his back, giving a soft sigh as he stared up at the stars. It expression the anxiousness all the students shared.<p>

The next day was to be the day that they materialized their zanpakuto. There was a special cave in soul society, far from sereiti and rukongai, that was made up of unstable spirit particles, and exposure to them would cause the spirit particles of their bodies to fluctuate similarly. For those strong enough, and all were presumed to be so by now, this would lead their spirits to start to break down into two entities. One, themselves, would remain and the second, smaller, would be their zanpakuto. They'd never been told why exactly when zanpakutos had spirit bodies of sorts too they materialised as swords, but it wasn't like they hadn't tried for answers. By this point it had just been accepted as an unexplainable fact. Tomoko in her eccentric ways compared it to the universe – we know all about what happened during the big bang and after but not why it happened, before Kage would remind her with a laugh that are zanpakutos were hardly on the same scale of importance as all things currently known to mankind, dead or alive.*

Karin looked over at her friends, all for once subdued. Not a smile visible, not even that happy aura they carried could be felt. As the youngest physically of their class they clearly enjoyed playing the immature role and not acting like they bore responsibility. Not Kage so much, but Tomoko and Maseru. It wasn't childishness, it's was just that they didn't quite trust themselves enough to let others give them responsibility. Karin knew that they would be able to step up to it when the time came, and tonight was the night they needed to realise it themselves. When students get their zanpakutos they would start being integrated into everyday shinigami life, and that meant duties and responsibilities. They wouldn't have teachers and class mates to rely on for help. They might not even see them for weeks at a time.  
>"We'll be okay," whispered Maseru, reassuring himself as much as anyone, because they know that even friends might not be there for them.<p>

"'Course we will. It's gonna take more than a few duties for you guys to get rid of me," mumbled Tomoko, the lack lustre in her voice meaning her usual banterous humour sounded forced, though it lightened their frowns a little.

"For the next year at least we'll still be spending at least one day a week on class. Some of us may remain there full time at first until there's space in squads for us, or missions suitable for use to take. After all, we have another two years after this one until we graduate so they aren't going to dispatch us for months away in somewhere like Karakura, even seated offices aren't allowed to be the official shinigami posted there."

Karin nodded, remembering how frequent hollow attacks were in her home town, as Kage apologised for his speech upsetting Tomoko even more. She'd never told Karin about her past, nor the others, but the Kurosaki girls couldn't help but think it had been a troubled one. The two girls relied on this group of friends like family. These were the first of her peers to not only accept her, but really get to know, understand and like her. They'd been there through all the struggles and trials of her last year and they'd never left her side during the summer vacation, even when they'd found themselves star struck at the company they were in during their time in gigais at the Kurosaki household.

"So!" Karin said with enough face enthusiasm to draw some genuine interest from the others, surprising herself in the process, "What do you think our zanpakutos will be like?"

"Mine better not be a bloody katana," was Tomoko's grumbled reply. Maseru teased her about her lack of sword skills, and her predictable violent reaction was entertaining enough to lift to mood a little and lips started to relax out of the firm lines of worry they had become so set in the last few days. Without warning, Kage jumped in on the action, launching himself at Tomoko's ribs and tickling her. She held her breath while Maseru, who had been pinned down on his front with his arms behind his back, being held in place by a certain someone sitting on him, started to struggle harder, knowing that once she gave into Kage's torture she'd forget not to squirm and probably end up jumping and landing painfully on him. Surprised by how long the other girl had held out for, Karin shuffled over casual as if to break up the whole situation, before attacking Tomoko's neck. With a squeal the other girl's defences crumpled and tucking up in a ball to try and defend herself she fell back, the lucky Maseru not getting to his feet fast enough before getting his revenge, taking her shoes of at lighting speed and wreaking tickle havoc on her feet. From the massive mood lift, this became even funnier than usual, their eyes starting to run from the sheer amusement. Maseru though the last to join, was the first to abandon the cause, mimicking Tomoko's foetal position, though he was doubled over with laughter, the odd loud breath and cry of "Stomach cramp," punctuating his hysteria.

Eventually Karin and Kage gave into the pleas for mercy, and because they were mildly concerned about the colour of Tomoko's face. It wasn't uncommon for these sessions to end up with her completely red and breathless from shouting and laughing. After all had recovered enough to be at the very least sitting upright the smiles that had been their trademark accessory for the past year had returned, and though not completely cured of their worries, it was enough so that they could be pushed to the back of the mind and they could reattempt the speculation of what their zanpakutos might be like,

"So my humiliation aside, I reckon," Tomoko took a dramatic pause to look at each of them individually, "Karin, yours is obviously going to be a beast with your spiritual power, Maseru's will be all strength and power, your standard eleventh squad cleaver-"  
>"Say eleventh squad again and I'll-"<br>"Lose to me in hand to hand combat again?" Tomoko stuck her tongue out and Maseru threatened her by rigging the partner system to spar with her next kendo lesson. She quickly turned to Kage, the only member of the group at that point to have a now straight face, "And I reckon yours will either be one of two extremes, like either a daito or a wakizashi."  
>"Your reasoning being?"<br>"Gut feeling," another titter of laughs came from the circle before the conversation turned to what their shikais might be like in the future, Karin volunteering her opinions this time. After a few more rounds of speculation and laughter, they decided it was time to get the rest that would be much needed tomorrow.

Not being able to share dorms, they'd decided to camp out in a tent they may just have acquired from the thirteenth squad's lieutenant. Karin was strongly opposed to using her brother and his friends to her advantage, but thee others had befriended the Kurosaki-taicho and his fiancée over the break and Maseru had no such qualms, and nor did Rukia in obliging to them. In a sleeping bag between Tomoko and Maseru, both of whom had crashed out the second they closed their eyes, Karin felt hope for the next day and that even if it were to be their last day together they would always find a way to be there for her when she needed them.

Dawn the next morning brought a frenzied rush back to the halls to avoid being caught out, the tent and accompanying objects left behind as suggested by Rukia. After seeing Karin suffer through her teens, Rukia and even more so Ichigo, were not just relieved but happy she had finally found friendship and both wanted to help make it as good as possible for her to make up on the years lacking in affection, hence why they had agreed to go clean up after them, allowing the camp out to happen with minimal risks of getting found out and punished.

After a successful break in back to their rooms, it was a rush for the students to wash away any evidence of their night, Maseru mildly disturbed at the amount of mud stains he'd acquired from his skirmish with Tomoko, before making themselves presentable, donning uniform and meeting in the outer quad as ordered. Some of the last to arrive, they couldn't see over the small crowd that had gathered, all whispering with an electric buzz. Immediately they noticed it was not just their class and the regular class of the year above there, as had been planned, but a whole host of younger students too. As the tallest and most likely to be able to work his way through the crowd Kage set off in order to see what had drawn so much attention, and the others saw him stop abruptly. Anything shocking enough to make Kage halt was worth a see. Tomoko was the first to follow after, grabbing onto Karin's hand who in turn took Maseru's, making a chain. Though she didn't have Kage's grace in negotiating spaces, she had enough strength to make her own and being below average eyelevel, people didn't realise that the nudge they just felt was a person pushing past, not just a bump from a neighbour. Getting back to Kage's side, the two girls still struggled to see over heads, and the boys seemed too distracted to notice their distress.

"There are captains here." Whispered Kage. "Kyoraku-taicho, Ukitake-taicho, Soi Fon-taicho, Kuchiki-taicho, Kurosaki-taicho and Hitsugaya-taicho. They're all just… here."  
>The captains never came to the academy. Ever.<br>"Ichigo's here?" Asked Karin, disbelieving of the situation. The siblings did as much as was possible to avoid each other in Soul Society, not because it was awkward or they Ichigo felt he's was too far superior to her but because they knew there'd be accusations of favouritism and of Karin getting extra help. People would love to tarnish her natural talent. There had to be something more than they knew about going on if any captain, let alone six of them and one of them being Ichigo, were there

Maseru turned so his back was bared so Karin, crouching slightly and allowing her to jump on and see the occasion for herself. When she cast her shocked gaze over the powerful group she couldn't help but let a name slip from her mouth in sheer shock.  
>"Toushiro?"<p>

He'd grown. Hugely. From looking like an primary school kid he was now only half and inch or so shorter than Ichigo, his round childish face had hollowed out to show a strong but tapered jaw and cutting cheek bones. His eyes were still wide and bright, the same piercing blue as she remembered from her childhood. The thick spikey hair which had previously stuck up and out in every direction physically possible and more was now longer and tamed, lying flatter and reaching his shoulders at points. At that moment Karin saw that his cheeks were coloured with anger, no doubt related to whatever it was making her brother double over with laughter. Unnoticed to herself, a light smile graced her face as she remembered the two times she'd met him. He'd been her hero the first time, first saving her pride in the football match and then protecting her and her friends from a hollow too powerful for her to take out with a reitsu saturated football. Not that she wouldn't have tried if he hadn't been there.

Her reverie was snapped when she noticed Tomoko sharing down at her, obviously having either launched herself onto Kage's back or bugged him until he picked up her. A moment of panic rampaged through Karin – what look had she had on her face? What did it give away? With the childish was Tomoko acted she half expected her to tease her like a school girl then she remembered that this was one of the dearest friends she'd ever had. And that the second she needed to be Tomoko was one of the most mature and caring people. The two girls just smiled at each other, knowing that nothing needed to be said. Whatever Karin was seeing, or rather whoever, left her with one of the most genuine smiles Tomoko had ever seen on the other girl's face and she wasn't about to interrupt and risk soiling or destroying something so apparently raw and innocent.

They continued to watch the events of the morning unfold from their relative perches. After much hassling and yelling, the lower student filtered out of the court yard, just leaving the forty or so that were meant to be there. Eventually Ukitake-taicho stepped forward, clapping his hands in askance of the students' attention,"  
>"Greetings," he started, his voice cheerful and optimistic, "By the end of today, the majority of you will have materialized and mastered your zanpakuto and your positions for the foreseeable future will have started to be decided.<p>

"You may be wondering why you have so many captains here today. As many of you know, it is normally customary for myself an or Kyoraku-taicho to accompany a group of students of today however," his voice became serious and his face grave, "There have been a disturbing number of powerful hollow attacks around rukongai and we did not feel it safe to leave a large number of zanpakuto–less souls with phenomenally high reitsus to wonder to our location. Our job today is to both transport you safely using powerful kido and to join you and defend you should it be necessary. I understand many of you will be thinking you could defend yourselves, but you need to accept our judgement on this issue. These hollows are powerful and you will be in a weakened state.

"And now to begin, if you could form an orderly queue we will begin transporting you in groups of, at most, five."

After some jostling the group found themselves near the back of the line, only now they could look down the sides of it to see what was happening. There would four narrow poles, only about five foot in height, that formed a square. At first Kyoraku-taicho and Ukitake-taicho stepped into the square and vanished after a short incantation was muttered Kuchiki-taicho. They recognised it as a similar type of kido that transported Karakura town during the Winter War. Soon students started passing through the set up, until about half of them were gone and Ichigo and Hitsugaya-taicho went too. Ichigo spotted Karin and her friends at the last moment and gave a subtle nod or reassurance. Soon it was their turn, stepping into the square as a four they surprisingly received a small "Good Luck," from Kuchiki-taicho, before the world before them changed in a split second and they found themselves standing on a rocky platform in the cavern riddled mountains far from all inhabitants of Soul Society.

"For many of you," began Kyoraku-taicho after the final two captains had arrived, "This will be the first time you meet your zanpakuto spirit. On entering the cave you will take up the deep meditation you have been taught in class and for the first time, you will find yourselves solidly in your inner world. There you will find you zanpakuto spirit, depending on what happens during that will affect the process after. If you anger or displease your zanpakuto, they can refuse to lend you their power. Prove to them you're worthy of them, that they will want to be by your side. How you zanpakuto materializes, it'll vary for each of you. Good luck, we go no further than this."

There was a moment of still, when no one dared move or be the first to enter the gaping cave mouth open before them. The second after Kage, Maseru, Tomoko, Karin and two other shinigamis started to weave their way to their goal, the others watching in a mixture of awe, respect, fear and curiosity. Inside, the air was cold and the room dark. Karin felt the others around her and couldn't help but fail to suppress shivers dancing all over her skin at the strange feeling in her chest. The air seemed charged with something, and she could see from her company they all bore excited grins, their worries from last night gone.

Power, that's what she could feel in the air.

After having ventured out of view from the outside world, the four sat down, each of them forming the corner of a large square. Karin closed her eyes as she had been taught to do, breathing and letting herself go as she had been taught to do. From the dark she could begin to smell something. Salty but fresh. She noticed the air she was breathing was clean and pure. There was a gentle, rhythmic noise she couldn't quite place. She opened her eyes.

The sun glittering off the sea was the first thing to catch her eye. The second was the beautiful woman, sitting next to her on the cliff edge, facing out to the horizon.

* * *

><p>*Honestly, a black butterfly just flew into my room. Okay, so maybe it was just a tiny one and so it did just go and top itself in my fan but still, eerie no?<p>

Okay, so I was going to continue this chapter on until the materialization and past figured over 3000 words made it long enough to be worth separating. And the first hint of HistuKarin goodness eh? Hope you've enjoyed and please review!


	3. Oceans Away

With this chapter my thoughts go out to the friends and family of Horatio Chapple, who was killed by a polar bear during what was supposed to be a trip of a lifetime. I spent half a day not knowing if my best friend had been the one killed and I can only imagine the horror of finding out for sure that it was your loved one.

Ressie

* * *

><p>Karin couldn't help but feel breathless looking at the woman. She was beautiful, from her full lips, high cheekbones to her wide, knowing eyes. This couldn't be her zanpakuto spirit could it? Could something like this really be part of her?<p>

They sat together in silence, until the spirit looked over to Karin, her eyes were like trapped sunlight, the perfect match to her hair like women gold, "You have nothing to say to me, Karin?"

Karin thought to herself trying to pick words out of the many buzzing around her head, "I- I want to know your name, but I know I won't understand it yet but until then," she met the soul's eyes "will you give me your powers?"

"And you think you deserve that, Karin Kurosaki? People don't like you and who are you to say that I will?" Her previously warm smile turned feral, exposing tapered feline fangs.

Taken aback, Karin couldn't speak for a few seconds. They'd be warned their zanpakutos could be aggressive towards them, and it may even be necessary to fight them, but she hadn't expected such a personal attack. "I'm not asking you to like me, I'm asking you to help me. You don't need to like me just what I stand for, I need you to help me help souls, purify hollows and protect my family and friends! I know as much as anyone I struggled to find friendship in the real world but here, in soul society, I do belong. I've found people I'd give up my life for in order to protect if I needed to. You're part of me. As much as I know there are part of myself I hate and you are obviously inclined to do the same, you will still feel the love I have for the people close to me and know that there are still people out there who deserve to be protected from Hollows." Karin stopped, giving a small gasp as she realised there were tears running down her cheeks. This was only the second time she'd cried since…

"My mum, she didn't deserve to be killed by a hollow. I want to make sure no child ever has to feel like that again."

The zanpukoto's fangs disappeared back into a reassuring closed lip smile. "Good, because that's the way I feel Karin. I'm with you now and one day, maybe you'll deserve to be told my name too. For now," she reached our and placed her palm on Karin's forehead, "You should go back to those people who mean so much to you. Close your eyes"

In the darkness, the warm sensation where her zanpakuto's hand had been spread down to Karin's chest. Then they it became hotter. Then burning. Opening her eyes in panic, Karin saw herself back in the cave, and a light breaking out of her chest. She wanted to scream and claw at it but found herself silenced and paralysed. Even though she knew what was happening she couldn't contain the surprise and horror as the saw a katana handle emerge from herself. Then came the guard and the blade, all the while Karin was in an agonised silence.

After what felt like an eternity, the katana clattered to the floor. Tentative, Karin reached out, for some reason expecting something further to happen. At first, it felt like an anti-climax. All that pain, all that excitement for what? A katana? They had those in the stores at the academy. However, as she started to inspect it and turn it over in her hand, she started to notice the subtle details about it. The guard was an intricately woven design in a circle, seeming to resemble the sun's rays. The scabbard was jet black, but with flecks of gold subtle scattered through it, casting off the odd shine with every angle it was turned. The way the white and gold wrapped handle fitted into Karin's hand was perfection, balanced exactly so that she could hold it comfortably with either one hand or two. It really was hers.

Karin stood, tucking the scabbard into her obi and taking a practise swing. As she raised her arms above her head for the second blow, she felt herself crushed under several huge reitsus. And the pressure of the hollows they were fighting. Instinct to defend her still motion less friends gave her flight as she tore out of the cave, finding the captains fending off a horde of hollows. They must have been outnumbered at least three to one. And more were still coming.

From where she was standing, Karin could see that Ichi-nee had already released his bankai, as had Toushiro. Soi Fon was barely visible the speed she was moving at but her shikai had been released and Kuchiki-taicho's Zenbonsakura could be seen in the distance. The other two could be felt nearby but she couldn't see them.

Despite her years at the academy, and before that her experiences in the living world, Karin felt lost. These people fighting, their power was incomprehensible to her, and she was planning to fight alongside them? Standing there she felt useless, but there was no hollow left open to her. Regardless, she drew her blade, and in an instant she was flocked by hollows. There were murmurings between them, their luck at finding such a strong yet unskilled shinigami and how delicious she was going to taste. This Karin knew how to deal with. Not waiting for the monsters to make a move, she launched herself at the one closet, shattering its mask with the first strike. A second came up behind her, to meet its end as the zanpakuto's handle slammed into its face with an earth shaking force. The next hollow was slow to approach, cautious even. It leapt then feigned, but was nonetheless caught out be Karin's reactions, and the girl whipped around only just in time to block a strike from her next opponent. She swung her arms back ready to deal a final blow when it stopped and disintegrated, revealing a grinning Ichigo. Explanations weren't needed as the Kurosaki siblings moved so the stood back to back, their strikes and moves working together to protect one another and push the hollows past all their limits. Eventually, they found they no longer needed to move at lightning speed to catch their next opponent, and their contenders were now few in numbers. When no more came for a time, they stood back to back again, swords drawn and alert until the moment they accepted the battle was over. Turning around, Ichigo hugged his sister,  
>"Well done Karin," He then pulled away and, grinning again, ruffled her hair like back when they were children. He told her she'd obviously picked all her battle skills up from him and they laughed together.<p>

As all the student and captains were rounded up, it appeared no one was seriously injured. There was the odd scratch or bruise, mainly on the students who'd tried to throw themselves into the fight only to have to be saved by the captains. Most of this people were currently the recipients of disdainful glances, especially from Kuchiki, Soi Fon and Toushiro. They were also currently shitting themselves at Kyoraku-taicho's suggestion that they be healed by the other students to allow them to practise their kido.

However, there were other injured students, who had a more victorious look on their faces. Kage's height meant his could be seen better than any of the others. They stood separate from the rest in conversation with Ukitake-taicho. Karin was ushered to join them. Among the group were her three friends, one of the shinigami who'd entered the cave with them earlier and two others from the class above. These were the students who'd managed to launch successful attacks on the hollows and were subsequently now being fast tracked into the squad involved part of their education.

It was confirmed that within the next 24 hours their positions would be chosen, though as they had shown such courage and ability they may have some say for themselves. It was like a faux high for the friends, that their fears of being split up were coming true, but at least they had earned themselves respect and probably better duties once they were inaugurated into a squad. From the second they returned to the academy, they would begin the process but for now, the hollow problem apparently dealt with, they would walk back to the academy.

As they moved out Karin, Maseru, Tomoko and Kage all hugged one another, a kind of congratulation and relief that they weren't hurt. They had all been surprised to a point that Tomoko had entered the fight. As untouchable as her physical combat skills were, they expected that her new zanpakuto would restrict her movement and throw her off balance. She gave a feral smirk and turned her back to the others and showed not one, but two tanto sized zanpakuto tucked into the back of her uniform in an obvious attempt at mimicking the way Soi Fon stored an unreleased Suzumebachi, however they formed a slight cross with a handle at each side of her body. They were perfect to allow weapon less fighting without interference and that she would be able to use either one without a moments notice to her opponent should her hits alone not be enough to deliver the final blow.

Maseru's zanpakuto, like Karin's, had taken the standard katana shape, though his was coloured with earth reds and the guard oval engraved with tiger like shapes. Kage, as Tomoko had predicted, did not have regularly sized zanpakuto but rather now across his back was slung a nodachi style blade, Tomoko joking that the length of his zanpakuto was only due to it resembling him and his height. He returned that that was obviously why she hadn't manifested a sword, taking his zanpakuto off his back and standing it next to her, causing a laugh to ripple through the friends upon the proof that the girl was barely two inches taller than Kage's zanpakuto was long.

After a while of walking and just general conversations and laughs, they began to discuss where they would like to be placed for squads,  
>"Eleventh," decided Maseru without hesitation, "They may not have the best reputation but I'll enjoy the combat and the environment. I'm guessing you're hoping to be taken into second and the Onmitsukidou Tomoko, and you too Kage?"<br>They both nodded. With similar fighting styles, the friends had known early on that Tomoko looked up to Soi Fon-taicho and wanted to be part of the Onmitsukidou, where as Kage had had the idea placed in head by a teacher until it took root.  
>"I don't enjoy the fight nor look forward to the prospect of winning one if it means death for my opponent. At first I thought that attitude would put me in the third squad but it's not that same. I don't feel the depression their squad symbol represents at the thought of war and battles, I see them as necessary and part of our way of life. It's just a part I don't want to savour. The second squad is assassination, so allows me to simply kill in a second without having to push the opponent to his limits first. The kind of thing frowned upon by the prouder squads like the sixth and fifth, no offense to your brother Karin."<br>"I doubt he'd find anything offensive with that," Karin looked up at the sky and gave a small sigh,

"You three all know where you want to be, you have reasons to want it, but where do I fit in?"

Because fitting in was something Karin had managed to do so well in her past.

"Well," began Kage in his warm optimistic tone, throwing a reassuring arm over her shoulders, "I'd say just about anywhere you wanted to."  
>"Except twelfth. That's a no go area." On her other side, Tomoko linked their arms. Little things to physically show how they were bonded together. To the other girl's right, Maseru put his arm around her, completing the wall.<p>

"So let's think about this," Tomoko started, normally the best at solving problems like this through obvious deduction and her ability to read personality and take care to be sensitive, "Third is a possibility but their general out look is too negative for you, and Kira-fukutaicho may not be able to offer the exact guidance you'll need. As much as your kido is up to fourth standard I doubt you'll have the patience to deal with every shinigami who comes to you with an ache or cut. Fifth is your brother's which you'd fit into best and with him as your taicho you would respect and understand his instruction, the problem being other squad members are likely to cut you out and claim favouritism. Ichigo would undoubtedly subdue it but still, it may not be the nicest thing to endure.

"Sixth is equally good for you, you're friends with the fukutaicho and have stayed with Kuchiki-taicho, yet your bonds with them aren't obvious enough to induce the same reaction as in fifth, and Kuckiki-taicho would never be suspected of favouritism from his cold persona. Seventh is based on courage however I doubt you would function as well with Komamaru-taicho. You would be friends, doubtless, but he's strong but a victim to authority, showing no will to push or break rules which we all know is a Kurosaki habbit," the girls rolled their eyes and laughed. It was a fact Karin couldn't even try to dispute.

"Eighth, you'd undoubtedly become a victim of Kyoraku-taichos flirting and he already has his fukutaicho abuse him regularly over it. Ninth is apparently hell bent on justice and right and wrong, so your grey scale take on life and wanting to see people reform could be a breath of fresh air or could be problematic and leave you changing your beliefs. Tenth may work too, but your friendship with Matsumoto and her love of avoiding work may be a bad influence. Eleventh, you're no meat head," Maseru took the hand over Tomoko's shoulder and gave her a light slap to the back of the head, leaving her with a sheepish smile, "Okay, you'd get frustrated at how the majority, not all, only have two brain cells keeping each other company. Twelfth," There was a consensual sudder between the group, "And that leaves thirteenth, where you would have Rukia's guidance, Ukitake-taicho's knowledge and their symbol, the snow drop for hope, fits in with your attitude to the future," Tomoko finally concluded with a self satisfied grin.

"Thank kami, and thought she was never going to shut up," joked Maseru, earning himself a mock glare.

"See Karin," Kage jostled, "there'd no squad you want to be in that would turn you away, only those slightly more suitable. Just need to see who want to take you now."  
>"And after today they'll all be wanting ya," finished Tomoko.<p>

Karin nodded, optimistic and relieved after having it all talked through for her. Maybe she didn't have a need to worry but it was calming to have someone help to process the options for her. So sixth, tenth and thirteenth looked to be the best solutions. Renji would be fun to train with, and Byakuya would be a good leader. Thirteenth would provide her with more affection and Ukitake-taicho would be considerate and caring. That just left tenth.

And Toushiro.

* * *

><p>Crikey, done the last 2000 word of that in a couple of hours, and it's now 1.19 a.m. *passes out*<br>Anyway, there are parts of the manga that saw Zanpakuto size is to do with reiatsu, but Gin's was tiny, Soi Fon's is smaller than katana size when unreleased so I kinda abused that a bit.

Anyway, enjoy and review. I'm going to sleep now :3


	4. Without Reason

Thank you to all those people who've reviewed so far! Lazyguy90, Fallen-Yuki and sayo-chan64 for doing so every chapter. Really makes it worth writing. Keep reading, reviewing and enjoying guys!  
>Ressie<p>

* * *

><p>It reminded her back of options day school. There were desks set around with the fuku-taichos, mostly, from each squad. The eleventh was the only exception with Ikkaku and Yumichika there. On arrival back to the academy, they had found lists on the wall of who was to go where. One group would be remaining in the academy, not deemed ready for squad life, the next were all regarded as potential fourth squad and asked to remain in lessons for the next couple of days to learn some more advanced kido. The longest list was to go to another hall, where they were to be inspected by the fukutaichos of the two or three squads the teachers had deemed them most suited to. The final and smallest group stood with Karin in the room she was in now, composed of those who had battled the hollows or who had shown particular prowess during their classes, just over ten in all. They were given about half an hour to discuss with the fukutaichos there and come to an agreement as to what squad they would join. Tomoko and Kage made no attempt to hide their disgust at having to talk to Omaeda. With grim outlooks they moved over to the second squad's section. Maseru had at the first chance run over the Ikkaku and Yumichika and seemed to be in heated discussion with the first, the second could be muttering at how ugly their discussion was. Alone, Karin wondered where her first stop should be, only to be called over by Matsumoto,<p>

"Karin –chan! You thinking of joining us, ne?" Karin gave a small nod, not really wanted to explain the main reason for her doubt when it was standing right in front of her. She loved Matsumoto, and there were moments when she was simply a brilliant fukutaicho, but the majority of the time? It was a miracle Toushiro hadn't killed her, or at least left her in fourth for a week or two. After having a laugh with the busty blonde she moved on to see Renji, as Rukia was currently occupied with talking to a couple of students Karin didn't recognise. The sixth squad fukutaicho had his head on his desk as she approached, undoubtedly wishing he wasn't there. Karin crouched, so her face was level with the surface and poked him in the middle of the head, adding a 'Yo, pineapple' when he didn't respond at first. With that he looked up a grin spreading across his face,  
>"Karin! Long time no see. How's Soul Society treating ya?" He stretched up and flexed his back, and several pops could be heard. Apparently that was the first time he'd had to actually talk to someone in a while.<br>"Good, it took a while to get used to a few of the changes but staying with the Kuchikis at first helped."  
>"Ah, so you're thinking of working under me and Kuchiki-taicho?"<br>"Possibly," Renji gave a dismissive snort.  
>"And what other squads are better than this?" His cocky attitude reminded her of her brother, and she couldn't help but laugh a little. They'd flip if she told them to their faces they were like two of a kind.<br>"Well there's tenth and thirteenth I was thinking of-"  
>"No fifth?" He asked, raising a tattooed eyebrow.<br>"I'd love to work with Ichigo but there'd be issues with us being family and that."  
>"True." Renji leant back in his chair and chuckled, "It'd be like team Kurosaki. But seriously, you should join sixth. It's the only division with two officers capable of using bankai so you'd have the best mentors when it comes to training. You know me and the taicho and we'd look after you but he's still just enough that you'd be treated like a regular officer. Not to mention our barracks are next to fifth so if you do ever need your brother he'd only be a few minutes walk away. What d'ya say?"<br>"It sounds good, but I'm going to talk to Rukia first before I chose."  
>"If you must. Remember you can always swap if you don't like it there."<br>"Oi, I hadn't said I'd picked thirteenth yet," Renji leant forward and ruffled her hair, again reminding her of his similarity to Ichigo.  
>"Go one then." As Karin walked away she understood all of what Renji was saying, and he was a close friend of Ichigo too, so if Ichigo trusted him, Karin could trust him. Plus he seemed like he could develop into a good friend. Ah well, it was still worth talking to Rukia.<p>

On approach the girls smiled at each other, and began the obvious conversation. Rukia, like Renji, sold her the benefits of her squad before moving on to say that although it would be a benefit to all involved, as almost a sister to Karin, she felt that it would be better for her to join sixth.  
>"It's just that we're a large squad and there are already a lot of strong personalities in it. Not that you can't deal with it but sixth, you have Renji and nii-sama for guidance, and you're more likely to get the attention to training and battle that you need. I'm pretty much captain of this squad with Ukitake-taicho's illness and if you're anything as strong as Ichigo, you're going to need people with bankai capabilities around you. I say this as a friend rather than a fukutaicho."<p>

Karin nodded, understanding, though something still didn't seem right about a squad, for whatever reasons, trying to turn her away with her high reiatsu and skills. The idea clicked as she got back to Renji,  
>"Ichigo set you two up to get me to join your squad didn't he?"<br>Renji blustered uncontrollably, "No. Of course he didn't-" Karin held up a hand to silence him, getting a laugh at his expense.  
>"At least he seemed to make the right choice for me. You know if I'll be able to see him any time soon?"<br>"Well it's Friday and he's become a regular member of the Friday Night Drinking Society so if you tag along with us you'll probably get to see him."  
>"Friday Night Drinking Society," Karin pulled a doubtful expression, "And your taicho knows of this?"<br>"All work and no play makes even Kuchiki-taicho a dull boy. Not that he joins us much but he lets it happen."  
>"I'm sure, I guess I'll meet you somewhere in the barracks?"<br>"Sure thing. See if you can get your mates to come too, would be nice for some of the onmitsukido other than Omeada to have lives."

Looking over where the afore mentioned fukutaicho stood, she could see him hand on hips and chest out, seeming to be boastful of something or other. Couldn't have been too great from the way Tomoko had hidden behind her fringe and Kage seemed particularly interested with the grain of the wooden floor boards he was standing on.

Yeah, they would definitely need the night out tonight.

* * *

><p>The bar was just on the outskirts of Sereiti, close enough to Rukongai to get the local produce but protected from its inhabitants. For something that sounded so against the rigorous shinigami lifestyle, there were a surprising number of recognisable people scattered on the tables around Karin. With her sat her fellow three students, Ichigo, Rukia, Matsumoto and Renji. After many stories at the other shinigami's expenses, such as how Ichigo had genuinely tried to hide under a desk when Byakuya had walked in on him and Rukia making out before they'd told him they were together, Renji had let his pride get the better of him and challenged Matsumoto to a kido battle (he lost when his first spell blew up in his face) and how Kira-fukutaicho wrote a drunken love letter to Momo. It was after that he had left for different company, they had broken into the sake, Karin only needing a couple of shots before her head felt lighter. She'd never seen Maseru this open around strangers before either, nor did she realise Kage had been this funny.<p>

They had to have been there at least a couple of hours when the mood started to subdue. Rukia was now sitting on Ichigo's lap with his chin resting on her shoulder, they murmured gently to eachother and he placed the odd kiss on her neck. She saw that Matsumoto had shuffled up closer to Kage, and he showed no signs of turning her away as she leant her head on his shoulder. Renji and Tomoko's heated discussion about tattoos and who's hair was the nicest shade of red and diminished into a warm informal conversation, that left them both with soft smiles on their faces. Maseru had left early in the evening, the good student he was he didn't want to be tired on his first day in the battle loving squad.

Karin felt alone again, like so long ago.

"Yo, Karin, we're heading home now, look after yourself tomorrow," said Ichigo, kissing the top of her head and ebracing her before Rukia did the same and they left. Kage and Matsumoto kept making light conversation with her but she felt like it was an intrusion, excusing herself she left. Renji offered to walk her back to sixth but she declined. As soon as she left the bar she felt a familiar ache in her chest again, and, at a loss, climbed to the roof. Since coming to Soul Society she'd discovered people seemed to have a habit of star gazing when they were troubled and now seemed as good a time as any. Lying back, she looked for answers. Warm and sleepy from the sake, she closed her eye. It wouldn't do her any harm to just have a short nap here, would it? No, that's be fine.

She tucked her arms behind her head, letting out a gentle sigh. Her mood, erratic. She scolded herself, what did she expect after drinking? But drunk she had and sleeping seemed like the best option, however she couldn't help but let out a grunt of annoyance as she heard someone else join her on her roof. They had a strong reiatsu then kept prodding at her consciousness. A lazy grey eye rolled open.

"Karin?" Oh god, she recognised that voice. It was deeper than she remembered but still that sharp but not uncaring tone. She closed her eye again and pretended to be asleep. Toshiro sat down beside her and gave an irate yet amused sigh.

"One evening with her and Matsumoto's already taught you the 'Prentend you're asleep when I'm around trick'?" Karin gave up the game and looked at him with baleful eyes.

"Shut up Toushiro."

He was about to correct her, remind her it was Hitsugaya-taicho, maybe add a jibe about it being a Kurosaki thing to forget that when he caught a look in her eye and mentally backtracked. If he'd learnt nothing else from his fukutaicho over the last ninety years or so, it was how to understand the many faces of a drunk woman, and this one meant problems, "Want to talk about it?"

Karin shook her head, declining. Now, that was the point where Matsumoto normally became a blubbering wreck and Toushiro just sat tight and acted sympathetic until it passed so this was new. There were two options, the first one which his instincts were begging him to do was to run. Fast. Accept that she wanted to stay silent, abandon his search for his subordinate and go back to him room. That or he could do what his heart seemed to be asking of him – stay, help her. Even if it wasn't about what upset her just to get her talking and maybe een lighten her mood, "So… how do you like where you're staying?"

"It's okay. Sharing a room's new but at least there's only two of us."  
>"Yeah, that'll go once you become a seated officer. Good evening out?"<br>"Mostly."  
>"The others all go?" Karin shook her head again and Toushiro sensed he was approaching the problem, "So they're all still in the bar?" A nod. "But you're here, alone." She nodded again.<br>"Didn't want to get in the way."  
>"How so, they're your friends?"<br>"Well Tomoko and Renji were having there own separate conversation, then Matsumoto looked like she wanted to talk to Kira like that," She sensed an anger emanation from Toushiro, "No, not like that, she told me to stay but didn't feel right. So back here alone.

Except I got you Toushiro, you'll be there for me, ne? Be back like when I was a kid and you helped win that soccer game against the middle schoolers." He knew she was intoxicated, but he still found it cute the way she was smiling at him now, and the same protective instinct he'd felt when he saw he injured in that game flared up again.

"Sure."

He smiled back, looking at her properly for the first time since she'd chosen to be a shinigami. Her hair was longer, pulled back into a pony tail mostly whilst shorter bits stayed framing her face. Her childish body had definitely grown into that of a woman, all lean and toned curves. She was still as beautiful and passionate as he remembered. He knew he should have moved away when she scooted up next to him, and he definitely should have pushed her away as she leant on his shoulder, tucking her face into his neck. Her breath tickled over the sensitive skin.

"Karin, I think it's time-" as he nudged her off he saw her eyes were closed again and her light and even breathing for real this time. Carefully scooping her up in his arms he flash stepped to the sixth squad's barracks, searching the corridors until he found a room with her name on it. He listened briefly until he had established that its other occupant was asleep before going in and placing the girl gently on the bed.

He pulled a blanket from one of the shelves and tossed it over, then pulled it up tighter over her shoulders. He knew he shouldn't be doing this. This was a student, yes one he had befriended before, but not just that, Ichigo's sister. As much as he believed himself superior to the fifth captain he didn't want to know what kind of damage he would receive if he saw what Toushiro was about to do next, as he leant closer to the sleeping girl and brushed the loose hair off of her face, before placing a soft kiss on her now exposed kiss.

No, he definitely shouldn't have done that. But still he had, and there was no regret in his smile and he walked out.

As the door shut, the noise lead Karin to open her eyes a crack, and why her cheek felt so cool and whether she was imagining that crisp smell of winter.

* * *

><p>Must… make... couples!<p> 


	5. Enough for Now

Sorry it's taken me a relative while to get this out, my back injury's healing so I can start moving around, and sadly, away from my computer.

Oh, and I fell in love with Phantom of the Opera. Again. It's taken over my mind.  
><em>…and in that night there was music in my mind.<em>

Crap.

* * *

><p>The next morning was like a three wave attack on Karin's system.<p>

As she opened her crusty eyes, her head was pounding like Omaeda had just started dancing on it. Thoughts were reduced down to single words like, 'aspirin' and 'water' before 'shit, soul society' upon realising that there wasn't a convenient medical cupboard in the communal bathroom. As she stood, rather unsteadily, to make her way to the kitchen for her other object of desire her stomach turned against her.

Somehow she forced her unwilling legs to run, making it to a toilet just in time for her body to throw up every little thing she'd consumed in the last 24 hours. Eventually, when she thought the worse was over, the memories hit her like a bullet.

"_Except I got you Toushiro, you'll be there for me, ne? Be back like when I was a kid and you helped win that soccer game against the middle schoolers."_

Her stomach chose that moment to revolt again. With her head resting on the toilet seat, she berated herself, embarrassed for both herself and the tenth squad taicho. She could remember him being nice to her, out of pity probably, and then falling asleep on him. She guessed he must have taken her back to her room, though it must have been an effort to find it, as she doubted the others would have thought she'd do anything than just head back. She'd have to apologise to him at some point, preferably after she felt like a living being again. Oh, and her stomach was under control again.

Karin felt a light tap on her shoulder surprised to see a blonde woman behind her, holding a glass of water out to her.  
>"You were pretty noisy when you got up, figured you might want this."<br>Karin thanked the woman and drank, "You're Ginko-san?" she asked remembering the other name or her door. She had yet to talk to her room mate, the only time she'd seem her was as she scurried out of the room earlier. "Sorry I woke you."  
>"No worries, anyway, seeing as you're not passed out in your own vomit or something equal concerning I'm going to go back to sleep for a bit. Try and be a bit quiet when you come back in, yeah?" she said, not unkindly, "and hope the water helps."<br>"Thanks again," Karin croaked, wondering how many more people she would make a fool out of herself in front of. Taking a few more little sips, she felt her stomach resentfully settle down and her mouth start to taste a little less repulsive again. Deciding it she would still play it safe rather than sorry, Karin started trying to think out how to clear up this mess with Toushiro whilst sitting by the toilet.

Well, actually before that she had to kill her slightly murderous instincts towards Renji. "Look after me my arse," she mumbled. Okay, so maybe it wasn't his fault she'd drunk too much but she still blamed him for being a bad influence. However she needed to get back to the problem at hand.

Obviously she'd have to find Toushiro at some point that day, probably after dealing with whatever duties she was going to be landed with. No point being in a bad mood and trying to work at the same time. Then there was the issue of what she was going to say, sorry you found me sulking and intoxicated then had to deal with me being needy and passing out on you? Well, it was pretty much the message she wanted to get across but maybe in a more tactful manor. Something her brain was still struggling to come up with at that moment. Oh lord, what she would have given for some aspirin. In her pain, sleep seemed like the next best option and when she had deemed her stomach trustworthy enough to move, she made her slow way back to the room, taking meticulous care to be as quiet as possible, partially because of her earlier encounter with her Ginko but more so because loud noises were simply too painful to deal with. Flopping back onto her bed, Karin closed her eyes and stopped forcing her brain to work, dropping straight into a light slumber.

The actual start of her morning wasn't as horrific as she had predicted. The extra hour or two of sleep had allowed the pounding to reside to a muted throb, only noticeable in the silence or alternatively in the extremely loud commotion of the centre courtyard as everyone assembled there. There was no need for it really, just a good habit she guessed. It was a chance for Kuchiki-taicho to announce anything important and give orders, but most squad members knew what they were doing. Karin and the two other new people were to stay behind after the others had been dismissed, and their day would be spent with the taicho and fukutaicho learning about the workings of the squads in general, then more specifically their squad. After that they would be assigned to a particular team in the squad, and there was a rota of duties the teams took turn in doing. On a standard day, they would be expected to carry out the duties until early afternoon. With regards to breaks, you took one if you had the time to, but the task at hand took priority. They would then be fed, either in the group mess hall or should they want to they could cook for themselves in one of the private kitchens located around the barracks. The rest of the afternoon and early evening would then be dedicated to training of sorts, be it at an individual, team or squad level. Often the taicho and fukutaicho would mentor a group at a time to help them excel further. For ease and convenience, the new students would be put into the same teams as their room mates.

By this point it had come to food time, and after collecting Kami alone knew what, Karin took a seat on an empty table, not wanting to socialise with strangers in her slightly feral mood. Unfortunately someone she was still trying to blame for that mood didn't sense her malicious aura and sat down opposite her. Her only consolations were the dark circles under his eyes and that he appeared to be suffering worse than her.  
>"And you put yourself through this every week?"<br>"Give it a month or two and you'll realise Friday's are the best nights of the week."  
>"Then Saturday mornings are?"<br>"Endurable."  
>Karin rolled her eyes as they continued to eat in silence, a few other officers coming over to both greet her and their fukutaicho, two even daring to sit with them but had the sense enough to avoid saying anything more than a sentence or two.<p>

After the tense meal and depositing of plates, those dealing with them doing so as a punishment for a minor offense against the squad's rules, all officers trekked out to the outdoor training arena. The location of the afternoon often moved to help keep life interesting and prevent the feeling of security during combat. Today was to be one of the tougher sessions, where shinigami were paired at random against one another, the levels of strength sometimes varying drastically, and would fight with their zanpakutos until one dealt a mock fatal blow or the taicho deemed them finished. The aim of this was that it would increase the range of fighting styles each shinigami was able to face and it allowed their superiors, or even just those who spotted faults, to see how they could improve or further develop their tactics and notify the officer as such. They wouldn't all get the time to spar each session like this but just watching let them see flaws and check for them in their own fighting.

Kuchiki-taicho and Abarai-fukutaicho came into the centre of the area whilst the surrounding seats filled. Karin couldn't help but compare it to a roman amphitheatre, maybe not as grand as the Coliseum but the sights it contained equally as brutal as the gladiator fights that had raged back then. At least these fights had a stronger purpose than business and entertainment. Looking around Karin found her room mate had sat about a foot away from her with a group of five or so others. She gave the girl a meek smile, "Feeling any better?"  
>"Yes, thank you." And with that assurance Ginko turned back to her closer companions.<p>

Their captain took a step forward, indicating he was ready to take and am immediate silence fell. His tone rang with authority but to some sounded cold and uncaring. After spending the time with him before her shinigami education began, Karin knew he was exceedingly caring and could even be warm with people close to him. He'd just experienced too much pain from the death of his wife and there was too much pressure from his family for him to be a model soldier, and hence the mask. It didn't take much once you thought about it to realise it was a façade. After all, the only other person believed to share the lack of compassion was Hitsugaya-taicho and his zapakuto, his soul, was ice. Kuchiki-taicho's was simple beautiful. Deadly yes, but still beautiful.

Karin fought back a groan of self loathing as she again relived the conversation with Toushiro in her mind. Later, she thought. She would deal with it then.

Apparently the new members were to be fighting today, as a way of seeing how skilled they were and whether this was truly the right squad for them. Rearrangements were easier done if done so before the officer had time to settle in and get into a routine. Not only that, but everyone felt some degree of pride in their squad and to have it recommended to you that you may be better suited elsewhere was both upsetting and offensive to many shinigami. The only time there seemed to be an absolute exception was when a promotion was involved. Karin was depressingly unsurprised that power could be so influential in helping the shinigami too to abandon their morals. They were still human, she speculated, albeit dead ones.

The order the new officers would be fighting in was drawn. First was the other member from Karin's advanced class, a man appearing to be slightly older than Byakuya, then was to be from the regular class of the year above, another man, this one younger, as a human her would have been in his early twenties she guessed. That left her to fight last. The opponents were then drawn at random from the entire squad. The fifth seat was drawn, then an unseated officer. Karin held her breath as the last name was called.

Abari Renji.

The two combatants' faces couldn't have been more different. Renji had a feral grin on his face, in all truth he'd been hoping since she'd joined the sixth squad that he'd get to fight Karin. Her reiatsu was growing each day and easily matched that of the higher seated officers, maybe a third or fourth seat, and if what he'd heard was true her fighting with an unreleased zanpakuto wasn't far below Ichigo's with his meat cleaver of a shikai. He was dreaming of the challenge. The part of him that had drawn him to the 11th squad was revelling in what a battle it would be.

Karin could only think that she didn't have a hope in hell of proving herself worth of the speculation about her. He was a fukutaicho and further more had a reiatsu parallel to a captain's. He had so much battle experience she couldn't believe she'd be able to create a move he wouldn't be able to see through like glass, and with Zabimaru released she wondered whether she'd even be able to get close enough to launch an attack. However with that thought a vague strategy started to emerge. The first fight began.

The main benefits of Renji's release were that it extended his reach exponentially and that in close combat the spikes on the blade could be used to trap and block the opposing zanpakuto. Either way, she had more of a hope in close combat so whatever he did, she should try to block it rather than dodge and potentially open a gap between them and potentially try stabbing motions rather than the slashing blows the curved blades of katana were made for. The fifth seat had his blade, unreleased, against the student's throat. The next pair stepped into their places as Karin watched blankly.

She racked her mind for further ideas based on what her brother had said. She highly doubted Renji would need his bankai against her, not that it would even be efficient in such an enclosed space. Closing her eyes she thought of all the other ways she knew how to fight. There way kendo and sword as she was already planning. Kido was an option but that would require a free hand for the gesture and the ability to focus on that alone for a moment. That would be her option of she moved out of her reach, as the further away she was the longer it would take Zabimaru to reach her and those fractions of a second may just give her enough time. The only other remaining fighting style was that which Tomoko favoured; physical. No, using it would be unlikely as she would need all her weight on her feet for grounding her sword attacks and to only use one hand on her katana would reduce the power of her blows too far.

Kuchiki-taicho called the finish of the second match as the two seemed to be locked together. The officer had a gash to his cheek and the student had a multitude of minor scratches. It was clear who would have won but it would have taken too long an too much damage would have been inflicted to the shinigami. With a determined mind set, Karin descended the stairs to the dusty floor, all eyes were on her and the silence was stifling. She stopped, a couple of paces away from Renji as they both raised their zanpakuto, ready. Their taicho nodded and backed away, showing they were free to commence at will. Time flowed for a moment but the two combatants stood as if it were frozen.

Literally unseen by the audience they were together, swords locked, before springing apart and back together at new angles. Again and again this happen, neither gaining of losing ground and the air around them started to feel charged with their combined reiatsus. A frown began forming on Renji's face as he realised in this state they were in deadlock. He could have upped his game with the unreleased zanpakuto but it would have drained him probably sooner than it had any effect on her. He needed to release his shikai. But to do that he needed a few seconds to run has hand along the blade and call out to Zabimaru. Time Karin wasn't giving him.

A dull ache had already started to seep through her shoulders. Her relentless attack on Renji was working, but the amount she had to compensate for not moving under the strength of his blows was taking its toll. Suddenly she sensed an increase in his reiatsu and found herself thrown back at his next move.

"Howl, Zabimaru!"

For a moment her heart dropped at those words, before pounding stronger than before. A growl escaped her lips as she threw herself back at her opponent, the time for with their blades collided shorter now, as she pulled her zanpakuto back after every failed strike to avoid Zabimaru's teeth. Without realising, her attacks became more forceful, and the some of the weaker officers began to feel weak at the sheer strength of the reiatsu emanating from her, and the mirror if it from their fukutaicho.

After what was in reality all but a few seconds, Renji saw her plan. With his next blow, he kept the force behind it even after her block, meaning that if she were to remove her zanpakuto as before his blad would come crashing down onto her. By taking away the gap between them, Karin had condemned herself to this move, for if she were further apart she might, possibly, have had the speed to dodge the blow but with the zanpakutos millimetres from her face, it would hit her the second she went for her next attack. Taking a deep breath and a huge risk, Karin suddenly changed the direction of the force behind her zanpakuto, pushing up. Normally, such a move was idiocy but the jagged parts of Zabimaru which caused so much difficulty worked against its master, as Karin caught one and used the opportunity to push Renji off balance. Instinct made her jump back, only for her mind to then curse what she'd done. Quickly, as Renji threw his arm back to send his blade flying forward, Karin held a hand out in front of her, "Hado 31: Shakkaho!"

Renji changed the direction of Zabmaru to proterct himself against the kido rather than striking his opponent, giving her the chance the run forward again, though not reaching her destination before Renji relauched his attack. It was like slow motion as she saw the Zabimaru shoot past her, for a moment thinking Renji had missed before the horror hit her, realising as she turn, the blade had curved behind her and was shooting back towards her, ready to slice her in half.

A beam of light hit Zabimaru, tackling the sword to the ground and simultaneously jerking Renji's shoulder nearly out of place. Kuchiki-taicho began applauding, the tittering noise mounting into a storm of applause as the rest of the shinigami watching joined in. The two combatants bowed to each other out of respect and Karin passed Byakuya on the way back to her seat, he put a hand on her shoulder to stop her. Turning and meeting his eyes she could have sworn she almost saw happiness dancing in them. "Well done," he said, his voice low, before walking back to the centre of the area to announce the next match, as if nothing had happened.

Upon sitting back down, Karin was bombarded by compliments and comments about her power and reiatsu. Everyone settled down as the afternoon continued and a warm feeling spread throughout Karin and brought a smile to her face. Yes, she'd made the right decision to bring her life to Soul Soceity.

* * *

><p>After the days activities and dinner, Karin had made her way over to the 10th squad's quarters, and now stood outside the captain's office' door. It was late, he was unlikely to be there and probably should be home by now. Taking a deep breath regardless she knocked at the door, jumping slightly when she was bid welcome after an irate sigh. Without looking up from the paperwork he was doing, Toushiro growled at her, "And where have you been all day?"<p>

He looked up at her with murder in his eyes, before his jaw slacked and the same eyes widened in surprise. "Karin?" he stammered, "Sorry. I assumed you were Matsumoto. Guess that was being a bit hopeful for her to turn up this early."

"It's okay," Karin brushed it off with a smile, moving out of the door and shutting it behind her. Her smile faltered a little as she tried to phrase what she wanted to say, embarrassment and the slight chagrin of actually having to apologise for something stopping her. Toushiro hardly seemed to notice.

"How's you first day been?" he asked her, putting his pen down and leaning back in his chair and letting a small smile touch his lips. He was genuinely curious and listened carefully as she recited in rushed detail, asking for some more of the specifics surrounding her afternoon's training before he too, congratulated her. "I give it a decade or two before we have a second Kurosaki-taicho. Oh god, just don't become as troublesome as your brother. Yamamoto's already nearly burned down the meetings hall out of frustration."

Karin laughed it off, saying it would take a while if she were even to become a taicho before taking a deep breath and just getting to the point. "Toushiro, I'm sorry I was a burden to you last night, and that I was an embarrassment to myself. Thank you for going out of your way to take me back to my room." She'd rushed it out and now bowed, letting her now loose hair fall forward to help hide the embarrassment on her face. There was an awkward silence before she let curiosity get the better of her, standing up to see Toushiro's reaction.

He was scowling slightly. "Why do you say you embarrassed yourself?"

She rolled her eyes, it was just like him to be that bit troublesome, "I was drunk and acted like an idiot."

"I think I'm used to that behaviour, what with Matsumoto being my fukutaicho."

"But I'm not Matsumoto."

"You still don't need to apologise."

"But I regret acting like that."

Toushiro rolled his eyes and again smiled, though reluctantly. "So another troublesome Kurosaki it is then." Karin grunted.

"Next time I won't bother."

"But if you regret it so much there won't be a next time?" Toushiro mocked her a little. He'd obviously grown a sense of humour with the growth spurt. Karin glared at him, arm crossed and one eyebrow raised in disbelief.

"So now who's being troublesome?"

Another moment of silence before Karin too cracked and a happier expression took her face. "But regardless, I'm still grateful to you for looking after me."

She wanted to ask him what he'd meant when he'd agreed to her drunken plea of neediness but figured like he said, he was used to Matsumoto and drunken women, he'd probably known what he needed to say to keep her happy.

"It was no problem Karin, besides, I wouldn't put it past Ichigo to conveniently lose a load of this stuff," he waved a sheet in the air, "if he found out I'd left you drunk and alone on a roof."

Or if he found out I kissed you, Toushiro thought to himself before shivering mentally. No, he'd do much worse.

"Well, I'll see you around Toushiro,"Karin said, unnoticeable reluctance in her voice.

"Yeah, see you."

The Kurosaki girl let her face fall a little as she closed the door. She liked talking to Toushiro and she was starting to realise that maybe she liked it a little more than she should. Giving a deep sigh, she left, wondering as to the origins of the loud bang she'd just heard come from the office.

If she'd given into her more curious side and gone back in, she'd have seem the tenth squad taicho with his head on the desk, after slamming it there with considerable force. He'd hoped she would bring up the moment he said he'd stay by her side. He wanted to tell her it again. And then like the socially inept dunce he was he just let her leave thinking he didn't give a toss. Great. With a moan he sat back up, rubbing his forehead before continuing with the paperwork.

* * *

><p>Matsumoto danced though the door with a sing song "Taicho~" before freezing, literally. Her skin felt ice cold at the glare he was giving her and her hairs stood up on end. The next thing she knew she was running. Maybe two weeks of no paperwork and not turning up that day had pushed him a little too far.<p>

* * *

><p>Crikey, 4000+ words.<p> 


	6. Look After You

Thank you to Fallen-Yuki for some help with thinking a few parts of this through and again, to everyone who's reviewed I'm grateful.

I apologise for the slight haphazard nature of this chapter. It is the product of some severely frayed nerves. Why on earth did I agree to take a job interview on results day?

* * *

><p>Upon returning to her room, Karin saw Ginko had changed into a more casual yukata and lay stomach down on her bed painting so immersed in her work she didn't notice Karin enter. It was only after the student had collapsed down on her bed that she jumped, whipping round to face Karin in shock.<p>

"Either you've learnt to flash step like Yoruichi or I zoned out completely. As talented as you are I'm going to go with the second one." Karin couldn't help a small chuckle.  
>"Obviously. What are you painting?"<br>"Oh, nothing much," Was the quiet reply as the older woman ducked her head down, a light pink spreading across her face.  
>"Well you're no fun," Karin joked, sensing this was someone who'd be open to a laugh and sensible and secure enough not to take such comments as insults.<br>"Sorry to burst you're bubble Kurosaki-san," she replied, chuckling in return, "Where'd you disappear to?"  
>"I just had to apologise to… a friend. They brought me back here after last night."<br>"Ah, what would we do without those friends?"

Ginko was smiling, her wrist making delicate flicks. "You got anything planned tonight?"

"Not really. I didn't realise we had so much free time in the evenings. You?"  
>"Finish this. There's some conflict going around my friends and I can't be bothered with it so," she looked back over at Karin with a childish smile on her face, "I decided to shut myself away with some ink and paper."<br>"Doesn't sound like a bad plan."

Karin flopped down onto her back, crossing her arms behind her head and genuinely pondering what she was going to do for the next few hours. It wasn't even dark outside yet and, albeit though the last of the long summer days were still lingering. She'd never held any interest in the literature Soul Society had to offer, much of it being political or factual with the only fiction seeming to be tragic romances. Karin longed to get her hands back on some of the books she read in the read world, she had a secret love for western arts and had yet to find a Japanese novelist that could challenge her love of Carlos Ruiz Zafon and the intricate plots he weaved. The music too was a passion, having found J-pop and the such too manufactured. With a sigh she speculated her other options. With her personal art skills joining her roommate's painting definitely was not one of them.

She could try and track down her friends but then again, the 2nd squad barracks were apparently hell to get into for anyone else and she had a small suspicion that the manic that was Maseru's new captain would see her as a second Ichigo and not leave her alone until she fought him should she dare to venture anywhere near him. Football? She'd even managed to get a ball across from the real world but then came the question of who to play it with. There was this tender friendship with her roommate but she felt guilty for even thinking about asking when she saw how lost Ginko had become in her own apparent passion. Grabbing the ball from under her bed she decided it might as well be worth practising on her own a little. There were still tricks to practise and drills to repeat.

Once in the wide arena she had earlier fought in she started by dribbling the ball up and down before making it difficult for herself, adding in near on impossible direction changes at speed, before going further to imagine opposing players. Sadly she wasn't aware of the eyes watching her dodge and slide.

Breathing hard she reached the end of the arena, picturing the goal keeper in her mind before curving the ball with full force around them, stopping as a black clad figure appeared out of nowhere and caught it. It was then she noticed foot steps behind her to and she turned slightly alarmed. On the contrary, the sight made her smile.

"Sorry," said Kage with an apologetic smile, "She wanted to show off."  
>Karin looked back to the interfering goalie to see her peel the mask off, revealing scraped back red hair, an impossibly red face to match and a grin that was more noticeable that anything else. "I hope you didn't think we were going to leave you alone from now on," joked Tomoko with her cheeky grin, before drop kicking the ball in Karin's vague direction. She may have had the most amazing co-ordination Karin had ever seen when it came to fighting but give her a ball and the results could be disastrous. It was completely inexplicable. Karin dashed to block the ball and bring it under control before passing it on to Kage. Thankfully he was good enough to even be mild competition.<p>

Then the realisation hit Karin.

"You can flash step?" she all but yelled to Tomoko, the affirmative response coming in the form of the other girl's grin stretching to the point her face looked ready to split.  
>"She can. We're the only two new members to second and after watching us fight we got Soi Fon-taicho's approval so we're being trained specifically for our duties before we start taking part in them. Step one was flash stepping, excuse the pun." Kage explained, dribbling the ball in Karin's direction again.<p>

"Apparently I'm only the third ever person to have learnt it in a day," Tomoko added, her voice not boastful but factual with a hint of deserved pride, "The only others being your taicho and Shihoin Yoruichi."

"Well done girl!" Karin would have run over to hug her friend but she could see from the glint in Kage's eyes that this had now become a game and his long legs were carrying him towards her. Fast. With lightning reflexed Karin slid in front of him at just the right moment to kick the ball out of his control but not trip him over. Regaining balance and the ball she charged towards Tomoko, who'd had stuck to the goal. It was the only place she'd ever really been trusted to play in. As a four they'd always split boys against girls or rather, the best with the worst and the middle two together for even skills. Only, after a few weeks of playing like that they started to realise Tomoko was a beast in goal. Her reactions and space judgement meant it was rare for anything to get past her. It didn't stop there being problems after she got the ball though.

Using her height to her advantage, Karin made a 180-turn as Kage closed in on her, his long legs not as agile. Again Karin was in sight of the goal, a grin on her face at the challenge. Sensing she was being approached again she took a risk and pelted the ball at the makeshift goal, feeling ready to cheer as it soared forward.

A feral expression took over Tomoko's face and Karin saw her joy shatter as she flash stepped in front of the ball again. "You know, I much preferred it when you were on my team."

"So your accepting there's something I can do well in football?"  
>"Don't push it." Karin caught the ball as it was tossed back to her. Deciding that trying to have a match again Kage was going to be a fruitless exercise she sat down, and the other two shortly cam and slumped next to her, forming a triangle.<br>"So when you said Soi Fon watch you fight, you don't mean against each other do you?" Karin asked, curious to hear about life in the other squads, especially one like 2nd. Her two companions nodded. Karin was shocked for a moment, and then burst into uncontrolled laughter. Neither were offended, they know how different their fighting styles were and the mismatched battle Karin was imagining in her head wasn't too different to the real thing.

"So, giant versus midget match aside, how was you day?" Tomoko pushed. Though amusing to a point her earlier fight wasn't an overly pleasant memory.

Karin told them of the induction and a blow by blow detail of the duel with Renji, her friends being so proud of her Tomoko almost went as far as to squeal. "Especially after last night, though then again Renji couldn't have been in too good a state." She added a giggle onto the end.

Karin's eyes went wide and Kage too looked mildy shocked. Yes, Tomoko was considered cute by some of the guys for her behaviour, but this was small child cute, not girly cute. And tomboyish child at that. She never giggled.

"Um, Kage…" Karin began sheepishly, not wanting her friend to think she was dismissing him.  
>"No, I'm on it."<p>

He got away so fast it his flash step training must have been bordering on successful. For such a calm and accepting person, it still shocked Karin how even the simple hint of a girly talk sent him sprinting for the hills. At first meeting him she'd pinned him as one of those guys who girl's could trust with problems and he'd be there to help with out. Ah well, just to prove first impression can indeed be misleading. "Come on," she said standing and offering a hand to Tomoko, "Let's not waste training space of someone wants to use it."

As they wandered out of the arena, Tomoko sensed what was coming and took a shy silence. "Did he talk about me at all today?" she asked, glum. Karin hated to do it but she shook her head. "Ah well, probably doesn't even remember after all the bloody sake."  
>"What happened?" Karin asked, taking her friend's hand for support. She'd seen a guy or two interested in her at the academy but the shorter girl had never reciprocated their feelings, telling Karin herself that she didn't see any point in seeing people she wasn't completely interested in and she'd heard from Kage that Tomoko loved partners the way she loved friends, there was no middle ground. You were either everything or nothing to her and it had lead her to find it difficult to men to be more than friends. The fact that she was worry about Renji already after having met him once confirmed all that to be true and had Karin worried. It wasn't that he was a bad person who would abuse that towards him, not necessarily the kind to freak out at it- if anything he was similar but on a diluted scale. It was just, to put it politely, he could be an idiot.<p>

"Well, we were just talking. You saw that much and then it was just little things, like when I put my hand on the table he put his over it, and he kept shuffling closer to me until we were touching. Then there were moments it felt like he was wrapping his arm behind me and when Kage and I said we had to leave he walked me out the door and kissed my hand and urgh," she half groaned, half growled at herself. "I'm being stupid. We'd just had a lot to drink and this whole situation sucks."

Tomoko took her anger out on a small rock on the path, unconsciously sending it flying into a tree, shattering the bark it impacted on, "Oh great, now I'm hurting plants. Productive."

Karin couldn't help a small sympathetic laugh, "Calm down already. I won't ask you if you want me to talk to him," the soft glare told her that had been the right assumption, "so instead I'm going to tell you to come play soccer tomorrow evening and bring Kage and any new friends, then I'll round up a few more and you can just get his attention again."

"So if he doesn't notice me I get the joy of wallowing in self pity for a day or two?"  
>"Of course, then you realise he's a bit of an idiot and move on. Oh, and I'll try to kick his arse for you if I end up fighting him again."<p>

Karin smiled as she saw her friends frown lift. Normally when she was human, she'd have scorned the girls who worried about guys like this, guy's they'd only met once or twice and they acted like they were their new life line. Okay, so maybe Tomoko hadn't gone that far but it was still the same idea. Karin started to realise she'd probably been over harsh on them. The reason she didn't judge Tomoko was because she knew her, and that this was a genuine concern.

Maybe if she'd got to know the other girls too…

No. That life is over. You're happy here. She thought to herself, and it was the truth.

"So you going to get the tenth squad captain to join? I remember you said he helped you win a game or two back when you were a kid," Tomoko laughed a little, "I still can't picture it."

"Yeah, why not?" Karin said. As much as they were a little tainted after their involvement in her drunken state, the memories still brought a smile to her face. "He better have been practicing the last few years."

"Kami, two people on the pitch with your skill?"

"At least three if we can get Ichigo too, but don't see what you're worried about. You're the actual ninja goalie now." The girls laughed, all seriousness and irritation from earlier forgotten.

* * *

><p>Karin surveyed the arena; Byakuya had given them official permission to use it this time. There were members from a variety of squads, some recognisable and others completely unknown. Her heart jumped a little seeing a tuft of white hair, its owner arguing with a busty fukutaicho over who knew what this time. After Ichigo arrived it had turned into a Kurosaki vs. Kurosaki game, with Karin choosing Tomoko, Toushiro, Ginko, two other members from the sixth squad and one from second. Ichigo had taken Kage and Maseru, Renji, Matsumoto, Rukia and two members of his own squad. Not full teams but it would do. At least they were even. Somehow Yachiru had got involved as the referee too. It promised if nothing else to be fun.<p>

Everyone lined up in there places, Karin saw with a slight glee that Ichigo had put Kage in goal. According to her own goalie, Kage still hadn't mastered flash step and though his long limbs could pretty much cover the whole the their make shift net but that combined with his inexperience left him prey to shooters like Karin who could curve a ball, often throwing himself in the direction it first went in and leaving the rest of the goal wide open. With a whistle the game commenced.

Ichigo got to the ball first, passing immediately to Renji as Ginko tracked him down, only for Renji to lose the ball the second squader who passed it straight to Karin. From there on her and Toushiro were in fallible, placing perfectly to pass to one another when there were too many of the opposite team to avoid. There was a tense moment when Ichigo pulled an illegal slide tackle on Karin, unnoticed by Yachiru, and made it to their goal. Tomoko had been leaning on the post out of boredom until he was all but a few meters away, before moving into the middle of the goal. Ichigo belted the ball into what looked liker an open corner, only to be horrifically dismayed when out of nowhere it was stopped. By half time Ichigo's team were a dismal four goals behind.

Karin jogged over to a sweating Toushiro, high fiving him before wiping her hand and laughing.  
>"Sweaty Toushiro, yummy," she said, her voice thick with apparent sarcasm.<br>"I could stop running around if you prefer?" came the tart reply, accompanied by a cheeky smirk. Unlike his teammate, he rather liked the view. Her face was literally glowing, with her cheeks flushed and her eyes bright. She'd scraped all her hair back off her face to stop it getting plastered there, showing off her subtly angular features, not to mention the regular clothes she had changed into now clung to her skin and showed off her lean, toned body. Yes, definitely a view Toushiro enjoyed.

"I'd love to say I could win without you but to be honest, I'd rather just win." Her competitive edge was infectious.

"That's funny, I remember the first time I met you and you had definitely needed my help to win that match."

"Only because some jerk fouled me and injured me. You know I'd have owned them other wise." She called out to the rest of the team to join them before turning back to him, "But seriously, what's with this sense of humour nowadays Toushiro?"

"Maybe Rangiku's had an affect." Karin raised a doubtful eyebrow, "Or maybe I've just started to realise that maybe duties and honour aren't all there are too this life, and after surviving something like the Winter War I should enjoy it more."

A smile crept onto the Kurosaki girl's face, only a mild one but it was there none the less, and Toushiro mirrored her genuine expression. Then any moment was killed as a certain class member of Karin's appeared out of nowhere and hugged her, trying to drag her into a celebratory dance, only to be pushed off and have Ginko join her. Karin tried to tell them in a stern voice it was too early to celebrate yet, that they had the second half to work through yet, but couldn't help but crack and join in. Who was she trying to kid, of course they were going to win.

True to prediction, the second half suffered the same level as annihilation as the first, with Karin's team storming to a 7-0 win. After all the group celebrations the teams filtered out slowly. Ichigo was going over to the Kuchiki Manor for some reason, one that left him drained of colour and apparently terrified, as planned Renji and Tomoko had again struck up conversation and left together, Karin didn't want to interrupt and ask where, and the most surprising thing of all was when she noticed Matsumoto was leading Kage away.

"You think it's okay to leave him with her?"

Karin flinched, seeing Toushiro was almost directly behind her and following her line of vision.

"You make it sound like she's going to do something to him."  
>"Maybe, but her even showing an interest in a guy without an ulterior motive is unheard of. It's always them chasing after her." Toushiro locked his eyes with a bemused Karin.<br>"Can't think of anything. Anyway, let them be, for all you know she might actually be enjoying his company."

Toushiro rolled his eyes but decided not to argue. For a while he had been starting to sense an air of change in the Soul Society, a change for the better. Who was he to say that his fukutaicho shouldn't be a part of it. Or in fact, as he looked over Karin once more, that he shouldn't be either? The thought sent him blushing furiously but once it was there it was like a little seed I his brain. He kept up some meaningless drabble of conversation for a minute of two before he finally got round to asking Karin if she had anything else planned for that evening.

"I was thinking I might go see Rukia but I have a funny feeling Ichigo might be needing her about now, so no."

Taking what felt like to him, a leap of faith, he took in reality a step further, "You want to come for a walk with me or something?"

Karin was taken aback by his offer, but agreed none the less. It was a comfortable silence as they left the arena, with her following behind Toushiro as he led her in down an unfamiliar path. Gradually conversation started, she asked about life in the 13 Court Guard Squads and received helpful answers embellished with stories of Toushiro's past and experiences. She guessed she shouldn't have been surprised when he turned and asked her about her own history and what had been happening in the world of the living since his last visit.

"I visit Haru-baachan a lot. She's getting weaker but the spirits look after her emotionally and my father now treats her physically. She's happy though, and I guess that's all that really matters in the end."

The news was like a blow to the young captain, and he quickly tried to turn the conversation in a new direction, "So tell me about your life. He talks about your sister sometimes but rarely you."

"He has a good reason to. It's not that my life's been hard, it's just that I didn't seem to suit it. I got good grades in school but teachers never liked me because of my surly attitude and," she seemed to choke a little, "I struggled to find friends as I grew up. I was no longer one of the boys but I just couldn't fit in with the girls. Add that to seeing ghosts and having to deal with hollows it makes my life here far better I comparison."

Finally looking at her companion again, she could see distaste on his features and a slight anger boiled as she thought it might have been at her.

"Well they were all idiots, weren't they?" Toushiro stopped walking and turned to Karin, "I don't see why people wouldn't want you around."

"Because I'm different-"

"And that's bad? That you were true to yourself? They should have seen that and taken you as who you are but then again," he let out a small smile, "I guess it was their loss and in a way I'm glad, because it brought you here Karin.

Without thinking he drew her into him arms, holding her for all but a second before stepping back, shocked with himself. After stuttering out a quick excuse he tried to leave, but not before a small hand gripped onto his wrist to stop him.

"Toushiro," she said, her voice soft and a blush on her cheeks, "I'm glad it worked out that way too and that I came here. I'm glad I got to see you again."

He laughed a little and tenderly turned back towards her, "You know, I kept planning to come and visit again. I enjoyed playing football with you and talking to you."

"You'll have to do it more often now I'm here then."

Until that second neither had noticed that she hadn't let go of him but rather her hand had slid into his, nor that they were only inches apart. Something in the ice wielding captain cracked and that warmth and desire to protect that only she seemed to bring to him came flooding over him. Slowly, he didn't want to rush this or startle her, he lifted his free hand to cup her cheek and guided her face towards his. As they were a moment apart he whispered her name again, checking reality, only for her to take over the lead and close the final gap, pressing her lips to his.

* * *

><p>A bit of a fragmented chapter but you get to look forward to the next one being massively HitsuKarin orientated :D I'm festival going this weekend if I haven't buried myself in a hole after results (eight hours to go D: ) so may be a while but I'll try to make it good for ya ;)<p> 


	7. Say When

Slowest update yet and with everything that's going down about going back to sixth form next week I can't see me getting back to my previous update speed :L Apologies, for the delay and it's bittiness, but hope you enjoy it none the less. Thank you again to those who reviewed the last chapter!

Oh, and apologies for length note but a couple of other things:  
>Bleach related - Toushiro's new hair, actually how I imagined it for this. Only, he's still a midget, got that part wrong. And he appears to have stolen and mutilated Byakuya scarf.<br>Music – I survived a Pendulum mosh pit. Yes, that is important enough for you to need to know.

* * *

><p>For the hundredth time that night Karin gave a frustrated moan and turned onto her other side, the abused bed creaking loudly as she threw her weight around. It was also the hundredth time that night she'd thanked all things holy that her roommate had the apparent ability to sleep like the dead.<p>

She checked herself with that thought. Ginko was a regular shinigami. She was dead.

Then came sigh one hundred and one, as she realised the ridiculous train of thought she was following. Stupid Toushiro. Stupid brain that refuses to sleep and keeps thinking about Toushiro.

Sigh one hundred and two.

She didn't know why she kept thinking about him, she kept turning conversations over in her head for the next time she spoke to him, kept thinking about pointless event she wanted to go to with him, like what it might be like to sit with him and watch firework over new years and the such. After the kiss, her first, he'd walked her back to her room whilst still holding her hand, and they just chatted about anything that came to mind. She didn't remember him being so relaxed, so quick to laugh and joke. On returning her to the sixth squad barracks he told her he'd had a lovely afternoon and thanked her for arranging the soccer match, before kissing her on the cheek and going to walk of. Karin hadn't wanted him to go that quickly and called his name, happy to see him turn around with a smile and answer her.

"Yes Karin?"  
>"Would you like to go for a walk again tomorrow?" she asked, shocked at how steady and strong her voice sounded when she was so scared of asking. Scared wasn't an emotion she was used to dealing with either.<br>"I've got paperwork left over from today, but if I've got time I'll find a way to let you know okay?"  
>She must have hid her disappointment poorly because with a soft chuckle he went back to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and placing another kiss but this time on her forehead.<br>"Tomorrow it is then, Karin."

And this time when he walked away she let him, touching a hand to the cheek where she could still feel the light cool of his lips.

After a frustrated growl Karin sat up in bed, and stormed out of the room. She just wanted sleep goddamn it, especially with seeing him at a sensible hour of that day. Was this what it was like to well, _like_ a boy? Were you deprived of sleep and sanity? She'd always thought the soppy love story that portrayed that were being over dramatic but it come as a slow and sad realisation that they were probably right. After all, clichés only became clichés because they were true. She made her way from the hall to the roof in record speed, but contrary to usual she couldn't find peace there. Maybe it was the impression left by her first drunken night out of the academy but she kept looking for him to appear. When the effort seemed completely fruitless she gave up, returning to her bed. Trying again to find sleep, she lay back and shut her eyes, sweeping her mind through her body from head to toe and relaxing every muscle in the process, something she'd picked up through relaxation classes in high school. That, and a slight lingering impression of Toushiro, was the last of her conscious thought that night.

* * *

><p>Karin queued with Ginko to get their lunch after a not so hard morning's work of wandering around Sereiti and making sure no one was trying to burn the place down or something equally destructive. Harumi, not Ginko, Karin corrected herself after her roommate had been asked to be called be her given name, Karin returning the favour. Or Haru-chan if she wanted, the only request being that she didn't pick up the nick name of Mimi that a brave few dared to call her by. Bidding a temporary farewell Karin went to her usual seat with Renji and the higher ranked of the squad. She knew there were whispers about her being a power seeker emerging from this but it was were her closest friend in this squad was, maybe in the future she might have a move around but for now the whispers could circulate. It wouldn't change her actions.<p>

"So," he grinned and Karin knew whatever coming next could not be good, "you and the ice-king?"  
>Renji's face fell when his joviality was met with a condescending stare his captain would have been proud of.<br>"You and Tomoko?" She countered, trying to lighten the atmosphere she'd only half-accidentally created and also effectively drawing the conversation away from herself. Her mood instantly lightened when she saw her friend's face drop into a lazy smile.  
>"What about it?"<br>"Oh, so you can ask questions about my personal life but you'll be coy about your own?" She cocked an eyebrow, the smug effect only mildly spoilt when she put her chopstick back in the bowl with a little to much force and left a couple of splatters on the table.  
>"What? I only asked you exactly what you wanted to know."<br>"And I used to wonder why you and Ichigo bickered so much." Renji pulled a mock sad face.  
>"I'm hurt."<br>"No you're not."  
>"True. She's cute."<br>"What? You asked about me and Tomoko, and I said I think she's cute." Karin rolled her eyes. Yes, Renji had been there through the last few years so knew her, he was supportive, serious when it was required of him and a laugh if she'd needed it but kami, she'd never believed Ichigo when he said the red head could be down right impossible. Getting back to her noodles she tuned into the general conversation of the table and how that afternoon's training was just going to be one on one fights again but just smaller ones so there'd be several taking place at once. Nothing too exciting and after taking bowls and plates to were they needed to be the little group headed to the arena. As they approached Karin dropped back to walk with Harumi, who for the first time introduced her to her friends, all unranked except the sixth seat with three guys and, including the roommate, five girls. Most seemed friendly or at least unconcerned by her, or that was until a talk brown haired man gave a deliberate sound of disgust in her direction.

"Shut the fuck up Hiro," grunted Haru, telling Karin he was a member of the 'we think Kurosaki Karin's arrogant and power seeking' and that she'd tried and failed to physically knock some sense into him when doing so metaphorically had no effect. It stung Karin a little, but nothing too difficult to shrug off and ignore, especially when the rest of the group chatted brightly with her, asking about the world of the living, her role in the winter war (she told them it was non-existent) and her general progress in the Soul Society.  
>"I give it a year tops until she learns her zanpakuto's name," joked a green haired girl.<br>"Bit generous, her brother learnt bankai in three days and her reiatsu's hardly far off! End of the month," joined another man, clapping her on the shoulder as he spoke, "What do you think Karin-chan?"  
>"Tch, leave the kid alone already," butted in Harumi again, whom Karin was beginning to see as a protective mother figure. In her past she'd have felt like she was betraying her true mother thinking things like that but now she realised if her mother's spirit knew what was happening, she'd be happy her daughter had someone to turn to. "You know," began the blonde, "that today we get to choose our sparring partners?"<br>Karin shook her head.  
>"Well anyway, I was hoping you wouldn't mind going with me? I know it's not as much of a challenge as Abari-fukutaicho or some of the others," she nodded to that group, "but I'm interested what it might be like to go up against you," she finished sheepishly, hand rubbing the back of her neck. Karin smiled back to her,<br>"No problem."  
>There passes a few seconds of comfortable silence, "Why, out of interest do we get to pick? I though the point of training was to improve and this could allow people to maybe go against friends and take it easy," Karin asked the group, before a bitter voice replied to her,<br>"Because maybe some of us aren't gagging to get better and surpass everyone else."

This time it was to green haired girl who stoop up for her, kicking Hiro in the shins and saying something like she loved him and all but he was being an arse.  
>"What he's trying to say," began the girl, Karin really needed to find out her name, "is that this is an opportunity for mainly the long standing members of the squad and those with lower reiatsu to just train to a degree they're comfortable with. If you imagine the draw you were in, but as a weaker member of the squad, getting put against the vice captain would lead to an immediate loss and some are embarrassed by that or lose confidence.<br>"Though then again, it's up to them if they want to take it easy with the taicho watching every fight and expecting everyone at their best. Anyway!" She broke into a happier face, "Looks like we're about to get started. You," she grabbed Karin's critic, "are coming with me."

Karin and Harumi found a space, squaring up against each other. Unlike those this kind of training was designed for, both of them wanted to get stronger, better and more experienced and for the next couple of hours it didn't matter that they were trying to nurture a new friendship, or roommates or nakama. All that mattered was they had to beat the other. "Ready?  
>Karin nodded.<br>"Good."

After the initial moment where neither moved, they flew together simultaneously, zanpakuto hissing as the blades drew through the air and over each other. Where Karin dominated in sheer strength and power, the experience of the other shinigami began to give her the upper hand, allowing her to read and predict Karin's typical moves before parrying them and landing her own. Blow after blow they tried to deal, with everything being met by a block or a dodge, until Harumi's strength faltered and allowed Karin's zanpakuto to graze her jaw. She threw herself out from the fight and with awe and a sense of foreboding Karin watched her opponent release her shikai,

"Rip and shatter, Hihebi!"

The zanpakuto grew into what appeared to be a spear, the shaft wrapped with brown cloth over metal and the head was elegantly curved. Karin only had to wait until it was stabbed into the ground, and a burning line spread along the ground towards her to confirm her concern it was a kidou based zanpakuto. She leapt back from the line just in time before it erupted in a roar of fire, leaving behind a crater and broken rocks. Without thinking about tactics, Karin just knew she couldn't let the end of that spear touch the group again, throwing herself back towards it and trying to cut past it to the owner, to see to late the explosion beneath her the knocked her off balance. Harumi advanced on her again, but this time Karin took a risk and ran to meet her, knowing of she got it wrong the ground beneath her could blow up at any moment. Rather then her usual attacks, she slashed upwards, at the tip end of the spear, stopping it from meeting the ground, before the weight of it and the momentum of her swing carried both weapons above the shoulder height or their wielders and Karin let her body weight follow up with them, before twisting her torso and bringing a leg up to kick the other girl square in the chest and send her backwards, narrowly avoiding the other blade as it was dropped. Karin pounced over on her opponent, blade tip over her heart.

They both broke into face splitting grins. "You fucking managed to kick me whilst maintaining a hold on your zanpakuto which just so conveniently had enough strength behind it to keep mine out of the way?" Karin helped her stunned and awed friend back to her feet, "You are actually a machine, and ridiculously powerful one at that - even if that final move did border the line between genius and courage and pure risk taking idiocy. Well done girl!"  
>"Thank you, though at first I thought I'd be lucky to get a draw, you could just read every move!"<br>"That's because at first you moved like you'd just come out of a kendo class," she joked, picking up Hihebi again and letting her return to her natural form.  
>"I don't mean to be rude with this," Karin started, sheepish through the adrenalin surge, "but is there something else you zanpakuto can do? It just seemed like there was one point you stopped yourself doing something, could have just been a pause you took to get your balance back or something or-"<br>Harumi held up and hand to cut her off, still smiling and with a light shake of her head, "You just get better and better. Yeah, you're right. What you saw Hihebi do to the ground can be done on anyone of anything I stab. With the ground I need to restrain how far it spread or it will literally go to any land boundary it finds. On people or hollows it'll spread to either ends of their body. Doesn't normally kill first time, just leaves a horrific wounds and burn but then usually weakens their fighting to a point where I can land a hit on a fatal zone."  
>Karin found an even deeper respect for her roommate and the power she held, "And you're an unranked officer with this?"<br>The reply was a cheeky smile, and the blonde holding her finger to her lips, "You're one of few who know it works on more than just ground and I'm trusting you with that Karin. Becoming a seated officer means more paperwork and duties, and more dangerous missions. We're soldiers to the duty of keeping things all good and balanced in the spirit world, which means that even if it's not preached here like it is in the second squad, we are all dispensable to our duty. And I rather like this life."  
>"But you want to get stronger still," Karin mulled. She could understand that reasoning, but it didn't fit with the desire to grow she felt from the woman and didn't fit the ferocity she fought with minutes earlier.<br>"For myself. The selfish reason so I can defend myself, and then because even if it isn't for a random plus, there are a few souls I'd give my life to protect and I'd hate to see anything happen to them because I chose not to be what I had the possibility to become. Oh, and just because I always like to know I tried at things, even if I don't want others to know. You see?"  
>"Yeah," the two girls looked over to the taicho, who was patrolling the area, leaving when he nodded at them that it was okay to do so.<p>

After stopping back at the room for clean robes and towels, they headed to the bath house. Despite all their earlier severity conversation had turned back to light chatting as Karin was filled in on some of the squad history and gossip, like how the taicho had once made a joke about using senbosakura to cut his hair. Anyone else making a joke was hardly news but Karin understood the need for this story to be kept alive and told. Although apparently happier and more relaxed then when Ichigo had first met him, the head of the Kuchiki clan was still easily the most stoic person in soul society and the very idea he might try to be funny , well it actually would have been a good joke if anyone listening wasn't too astounded to laugh, was simply mind blowing. She was also told about the dymanics of Harumi's friendship group. Hiro, or rather Torama Hiroaki was an arse to everyone most of the time until he considered you a friend, and then he was apparently loyal and caring. It was just getting to that stage. The other two men Juuniyi Daichi and Suika Kazuhito had somehow survived growing up in Rukongai, something that had left them closer than any blood brothers she'd ever met and where as it made some hard and uncaring, it had shown them a life they didn't want to lead and left them with the ability to care for and respect anyone, and if they had done bad things try to understand their reason for it. They were people who very rarely saw in black and white.

The green haired girl was Tiyumi Akio was down to earth and just, but had a wicked sense of humour. The other three girls, Harumi was not as close with and they had gotten back to the room by the time the subject turned to them and Karin has seen a note left slipped under her door, effectively halting all conversation with curiosity. It was addressed to her and hope seared through her at the prospect of who it might be from.

Moments later she threw it down, charged to the toilets and nearest mirror before getting as close as she could to shunpo on the way to the sakura orchards behind the Kuchiki mansion and Ginko Harumi was left amused and alone, winning the battle over her inner gossip and leaving the letter well alone. From what she'd learnt about the young girl she assumed it had to be someone rather than something that could send her rushing about like that, and who was she to pry.


	8. Look After You II

Toushiro smiled as he felt her reiatsu flare, before it came hurtling towards him at a surprising rate. He'd managed for the first time in year to actually get Matsumoto to not only do her own paperwork that day but his left overs too. She was a good friend deep down and he reckoned part of her wanted him to actually have a social life. Very deep down. Under the part of her that whined for ages when she had said she wanted to go out, and until he had launched into a very stern tired about every single night he'd spent in the office without even the option to go out, the detail of what it was like to be stuck inside night over night horrifying her. A part of him wished he'd done it years ago, but the sad truth was, years ago he didn't really mind. There was no one to go out and see that he could stand the extensive company of, and by doing the work himself he could make sure it was actually done right, not in his fukutaicho's rushed fashion.

Ah well, he thought to himself, with any luck it'll last the week.

"Toushiro?" called Karin, who'd got to him faster than he'd expected. He dropped out of the tree he'd been perched in to land right behind her, snaking his arms around her waist before she had the chance to turn around and greet him.  
>"Hello Karin."<br>"Hey," she replied, her voice sounding kind of lazy in a happy hazed way. He let her go before offering out a hand, which she took without even thinking, it just seemed natural.  
>"How was your day?" he asked.<br>"The usual. Did duty, found someone else who didn't like me, kicked arse and think I could go as far as to say I secured a new friend. You?"  
>"Just my usual – paperwork, paperwork, reprimanded a couple of members of my squad then filled in the paperwork concerning that and you'll never believe this," he said, leaving his sentence hanging with a grin, before jokingly suggesting he'd got Rangiku to do paperwork. The silence of him not correcting her left he speechless.<p>

"So I could come out," he explained, and Karin for the first time noticed there was a definite direction to his path, and that it lead to where the trees were thinning.

"I still don't believe it. Seriously, pics or it's didn't happen." He stared at her blankly, making her remember the difference between them for a second. That was common place phrase back in Karakura Town.

No, she was not going to start thinking like that. She belonged here in the Soul Society.

Touhsiro seemed to read her moment of insecurity and let go of her hand to put his arm around her shoulder instead, looking down as her and smiling to himself as he took her to their destination. Who was she? He wondered. Yes he knew she was Kurosaki Karin, sister of Ichigo and the like but why did that make her so different? He'd been learning to enjoy life more since the winter war and he almost lost it, not to mention the people closest to him but the last couple of days the flowers had smelt that little bit sweeter. He'd actually listened to Matsumoto's excuse for being late that morning too, normally he just scolded her straight away. It had to be Karin doing this. And just _this_, whatever it was. Though good friends with Ichigo and a few others, even with Momo, he'd never been a believer of physical affection. Like he'd on the rare lads nights out he'd tried to join, he'd never partaken in the man hugs ritual at the goodbyes. Only now with Karin he couldn't seem to be close enough to her, he'd wanted to just hold her, feel her there next to him or in him arms. He wanted, even then, just every second he was with her to have some kind of contact with her. Wanted to kiss her. He'd never felt like that about anyone before, and he felt it so strong now it shocked him.

His brain told him it was just lust and physical need but that sounded too animalistic, too crude but he had no alternative suggestion.

"So where are we going?" she interrupted him, though she had been thinking a similar thing and had now snaked an arm around his waist.  
>"You'll see."<br>"No fair. Tell me." She pouted, only fuelling his grin more.  
>"Make me."<p>

He was met with eye rolling and her dropping her hold on him to fold her arms. Immediately feeling the loss he just pulled her tighter to him and tried to swoop a kiss on her pouting lips, giving a deliciously low chuckle when she turned her head away. "Tch, don't be like that," he murmured into her ear, not resisting the temptation to tug at the lobe with his teeth after, not entirely sure why he did it.

Karin froze. She'd wanted to kiss him again, and being a teenager suffering from the every day exposure to sex in the real world, there were a few other things she'd imagined doing to him as well, but imagining and wanting were far reality. She felt his mouth hot against the corner of her jaw, then grazing kalong it to below her lips. Her need overriding fear, she turned and let him press his lips to hers. Unlike their short sweet kisses the day before there was something more driving them now, something that asked for more from them. It made his mouth move over hers and hers respond in turn, before she pressed a tentative tongue to his lips and he stilled in surprise, only to grin a little and push his own tongue into her mouth, jus doing what felt good to both of them. Their hearts raced and Karin turned her body fully, knotting her hands in his haori whilst he grabbed her waist and pulled her flush to his chest and now with all hesitancy and inhibitions lost, there was an all out war for dominance.

Still battling, every few seconds was punctuated with a gasp for air and the mashing of their mouths. Karin tried to pull him even closer with her hold, like just touching wasn't enough and his fingers kneaded into her skin, every time their tongues touched or he felt her explore a new part of his mouth it felt like a little bit of bliss wash over him. He wanted to try something, make her feel this good, and sucked her lower lip between his teeth before letting go of it again. There was a rewarding moan the second time he did it and it just made him imagine so much more he could do to draw that noise from her. It was like the sound of her surrender to him and sent a rush through him. Just, what he was feeling, was like nothing before, nothing his mind had ever thought possible. He didn't know how he was still thinking.

After a few moments more of their personal paradise Karin forced herself to break away, taking in a deep and well needed lungful of air. She couldn't wipe the smile from her face, and it was only the slight dizziness she felt from lack of air preventing her from kissing him again. From the matching expression on his face, she guessed Toushiro was going through a similar thought process, sluggish as it was.  
>"Wow," he breathed, shaking his head a little in disbelief,<br>"Yeah, wow," she whispered back, though her consciousness was starting to nag in the back of her mind at her lame reply. She let her fingers release his clothes, stretching out her whitened knuckled before he pulled her tight to him again and she twined her arms around his neck, just enjoying him as she leant her head against his shoulder. He smelt nice, she realised. Not like the nice smell from most human boys which was all expensive aftershaves and lynx deodorants, but a cool, crisp smell, strong and masculine with a delicious edge. Slowly and reluctantly she felt Toushiro letting her go and stepped away from him, taking his hand again,  
>"I seem to remember you were taking me somewhere?"<br>"Yeah," his voice still sounded hazy, "You want a lift?" Karin stared at him blankly.  
>"Piggyback, and I'll shunpo us there in a couple of seconds," he explained, crouching a little to pick her up, reprimanding himself knowing he was enjoying to feeling of her legs around him and his hands under her thighs a little bit too much, before moving at almost light speed for what could have been all but half a second before coming to a halt and lowering her back to the ground. As she looked around, her attention was completely diverted from him, just devoted to their surroundings. It made him happy that she liked this place too.<p>

Though like could barely cover it, and Karin felt her breath almost taken again at the sight. They were underground apparently, in a cave. Like that it would have sounded threatening, dark, but the reality was so different. Light streamed from the nearby entrance, refracting in all the crystal crusted rocks around them, scattering the room with bright rainbows. That and the light reflecting off the underground lake there, punctuated with proud stalagmites rising at intervals from its depths. Was he just intent on making her completely speech and breathless? Turning around to thank him for showing her this place, she saw he'd sat and indicated for her to join beside him, a request to which she complied.

"It's beautiful," she breathed, before turning and placing a tentative and lingering kiss on her cheek, "Thank you."

"Thank you for sharing it with me." He returned the kiss on her cheek too, "I didn't find this place that long ago, and since it's always just been perfect for sitting, thinking, just whatever I want to do that requires a bit of peace and quiet."

Karin nodded solemnly, "What do you think about?"  
>"Whatever I need to at that time. Normally I worry about Momo, and if Aizen pushed her too far and one day she'd just going to crumble and I'm going to have to stand there helpless and watch it all over again. Sometimes it's my grandma in Rukongai, especially if I haven't visited her in a while, then Haru-bachan in the world of the living, though it made me happier to think you were visiting her," he cast down a smile, "And occasionally I'd wonder if I'd still have a place on your soccer team."<p>

"Ha, I know you enjoyed those matches more than you said," she let out a sigh before nuzzling up to him, "You would've always been welcome."  
>"Always room for your star player, eh?"<br>"Shut up," she gave him a laugh jab in the ribs too, to which he only laughed at. She'd never heard him laugh like than when they met in her childhood.

"You've changed since then, Toushiro," she mused.  
>"You can thank the Winter War for that, I don't think any of us who were involved are the same. Not really. We've all got the physical and emotion scars from it to carry with us for the rest of our extensive lives."<br>"Seeing Aizen almost kill Momo?"  
>Toushiro shook his head. "Seeing myself almost kill Momo, before watching Aizen all but obliterate us."<p>

This was the first time he'd actually been able to talk about what happened from his perspective. Matsumoto had asked him and helped him through the nightmares after, but how could he burden her with his problems? He knew that whilst he woke screaming, she'd be lying in her room sleepless and crying for the love she lost.

"You wanna keep talking?" she nudged, after he'd stopped and she was correct in the assumption that he didn't know how far to keep going.  
>"I don't know how to describe it Karin. The only word I can think of is madness. The sheer despair after the arrancar I'd almost destroyed myself to kill was revived and for the first time I knew what it felt like to see there was no hope and no future. Then to see my blade sticking through Momo's chest, the one person I cared about most in the world, the one I'd give my life to protect, with <em>my sword through her<em>. The anger at Aizen, the fear for her and all of us, the disgust at myself for what I had done and just horror. Horror and darkness.

After something like that, you can't help but see life differently. Every time I fight a powerful hollow I have a new reason to defeat it, to survive the winter war and be killed by something like that would be, it seems too weak of a ward, a shame. It's made me want to live, Karin. Before my duty always came first but not it scares me, because I'm worried I'd chose my life over it if we ever came down to a similar situation." He took a deep breath, not sure where her was going, just talking. It felt nice, but a little part of him worried that despite her asking, Karin hadn't really wanted to know any of that.

Looking at her, he saw her eyes wide, but a sad smile on her face. She wanted to say something back to him, but didn't know what, so just settled with pulling him into her arms, stroking his hair. It wasn't a romantic gesture but one of support and comfort; she could remember Ichi-nee doing something similar whenever she needed his help back in her teenage life.  
>"It's okay to want to live, Toushiro, to want to hold everything you have," she whispered, her voice chocked.<br>"Doesn't it make me a coward?"  
>"No," she pulled back and cupped his face with both her hands and looked into his searching eyes. Though he'd grown physically and obviously matured emotionally, there was still a bit of the boy taicho in there trying to please and just do his duty as was demanded him. It scared him that there may be other motivations in his life, and that his life was his own and not property of the gotei thirteen to use and discard as appropriate. "You will never be a coward."<p>

She leaned forward and touched his lips with her own again, stopping him before he could protest. This was her way of telling him she still believed in him, that there was no point in arguing back, her opinion would not be changed.

Neither of them really realised it, not fully, but they were coming to be just what the other needed – a person they didn't need to pretend to be strong around, who could take their demons with their own and not run from it. Someone who would come to love them through all that.

They passed the next couple of hours with quiet chatter, just talking about anything that came to mind. Toushiro started to understand why Matsumoto babbled on so much, it was kind of relaxing. By time the dancing lights started disappearing and they decided it was time to leave, they had been sitting side by side, he with his arm around her shoulders again and her holding onto that hand, thumbs gently caressing the skin found there. As before, he shunpo'd whilst carrying her, but this time back to the gate outside the sixth squad's area. She dropped from him quickly and after a quick scan of the area to see they were alone, she hugged him again, and he left a quick goodbye kiss on her cheek. "See you tomorrow Karin," he whispered.  
>There was no question in the statement or in their minds. Neither really wanted to go a day without seeing the other.<br>"Yeah, see ya."

And then he was gone, and Karin was left alone, smiling. Really smiling, she hadn't felt that happy in an age. She didn't know why, but it just welled up inside her. She made her way back to the room quickly, expecting it to be empty or for Haru to be there. Except neither of those were true, instead she found her brother, with a grin matching her own. It was the first time she'd seen him since leaving the academy and just threw her arms round him.

"Hey Karin, what's made you so happy? Or on second thoughts," his eyes narrowed a little, "who?"  
>"Just someone," she said, not really wanting to share anything with her brother yet. He rolled his eyes at her.<br>"Well I just hope he looks after you, if not-"  
>"I'll kick his arse myself," she interrupted, thought noting in reality that would be pretty much impossible.<br>"Good girl," Ichigo ruffled her hair jokingly.  
>"But anyway, what are you doing here? You look like Christmas came early."<br>"Better than that."  
>"Explain."<br>"I asked Byakuya for permission to marry Rukia, and he said yes!"

Karin couldn't help but let out a little squeal, before congratulating him. She didn't need to ask any more, knowing her brother he was probably asking Rukia herself that night and there was no doubt in the matter, she'd say yes to him.

"That's fantastic Ichi-nii!"

* * *

><p>I hope you enjoy, this was written on the most traumatic journey off my life to date - it's 911 weekend so add that to getting at 4.55 a.m. so I was jittery from the start, then on my first train someone got off and left their massively bulky bag which in my mind meant 'bomb', in my tired and already stressed state somehow managed to get the metropolitan the wrong way, had to switch back to circle which was then delayed and had a mad man in the next carriage to me and he came through into ours whilst it was moving and spat on me. Joys.


	9. Happiness

AN at the end ^^ Enjoy!

* * *

><p>The next couple of days were a blur to Karin. Toshiro was snowed under fixing Rangiku's attempt at doing his papers and re-educating her should it be necessary for her to do them again. It wasn't like she hadn't tried, just decades of not having done any left her forgetful to the procedures. Because that wasn't torture enough for her, the younger Kurosaki was getting constantly battered by congratulations, questions and even a few snide comments about the wedding coming up. The last lot were mostly from a certain male squad member she had to decided to refer to only as 'it', causing a few laughs around her new lunch crowd consisting of Harumi and the others. Mostly It would just poke at his belief of her unrivalled lust for power and how becoming the taicho's sister-in-law was a deliberate move, but their last conversation, if you could call it that, had seen his aggression damped and the slight gossip that had been awakened in Karin would have loved to have found out how and why, except she wasn't go to ask. She would rise about gossip and downright bitchyness. Definitely would not give into the voice telling her to screw her moral high ground, and was definitely not going to mention it in the rambles to the red haired girl next to her.<p>

"-and of course It's decided I made Ichigo propose to Rukia to get closer to Byakuya to get myself higher in the squad."

_Oh well done for not listening to the gossip voice Karin._

Tomoko gave a short burst of laughter, knowing there was no real hurt on her friend's side, just disbelief and one that she shared. "See, everyone in squad two now knows I'm itching to be ranked higher, but they're just praying to kami I do it quick enough to replace Omaeda. Seriously, he's even worse than I thought."  
>"I didn't realise your opinion of him could get any lower," Karin said, only half joking an earning herself an elbow to the ribs.<br>"You be told by that slug of a monster that you're slow. I mean, how does he even move under all that blubber?"  
>Karin full out laughed this time. Cruel, possibly, but she honestly could not think of one thing in his defence, and of course she would always be prejudice again someone mean to her friends.<p>

"You'll have kicked his sorry ass into third seat in a year's time, or you're not actually Arashi Tomoko."  
>"Again, I can pray."<p>

The girls wandered in silence a little more. They were in Rukongai, just outside the borders of Sereiti, getting pestered endlessly by small rag clothed children and adults alike. With Ichigo and his friends' lasting legacy of helping Jidanbou, Karin was automatically treated with respect, as were any who accompanied her. Respect has to be kept when earned though, and she held onto it by treating the others like she would treat any shinigami and sometimes more highly so when she heard tales of how the soul reapers would sometimes take advantage of the poor. Often they would just appease the tumult of kids scrabbling around them when they wanted to look at their zanpakutos, or asked about life in Sereiti. When they browsed the stalls they would pay a decent price for anything they bought rather then intimidating the vendors into making a loss and in turn anything they took for free was because it had been given to them. From Rukongai herself, Tomoko went out of her was to help anyone who needed it and was the first to volunteer to help sort out any trouble makers. Karin believed she was starting to understand the past on the street that her friends never spoke of, and that she wasn't the only one who'd suffered in their life before enrolling in the academy and of those she begun to see maybe in comparison, what she should have been more grateful for what she had had beside the bad. She couldn't say that she should have been stronger, or that she was being a drama queen about a minor problem because if she were to start over again, every little jibe and difference she saw between herself and others would still have been there. She would still have been segregated and driven to Soul Society and as she was now, she'd think that maybe everything had been worth if it helped her find where she belonged. Looking around the streets, with a friend beside her and people looking at her with more than just fear or disgust she really felt like she was the closest to that place as she ever had been.

"Sooo," started Tomoko in a sing song voice that told Karin full gossip mode had been initiated, "how are things with you and Snowy?"

The young Kurosaki rolled her eyes.

"One, well enough I think, haven't seen him in a couple of days and two, seriously with the nickname? It's like me calling Renji Baboon-Boy, although that's kind of fitting."  
>"You already call him Pineapple."<br>"So do a lot of people."  
>"Ichigo calls Hitsugaya-taicho Snowy too?"<br>"…I cannot believe you just used my brother's immaturity in your defence."  
>"I used the words of the fifth squad captain in my defence, actually. Still, you're not avoiding the subject, which is a positive start. Well done."<p>

Tomoko linked her arm casually through Karin's, leaning her head in her shoulder. It was weird to Karin in a way, this trusting friendship. Nice, but weird. She didn't always know how to act or what was appropriate, but most times it seemed that instinct helped her through it. Instinct said that it would be socially acceptable to talk about her relationship, if it could be called that, with Toushiro and better, that Tomoko would genuinely care about what she said.

"It's strange," she started, "Even I wouldn't have thought we'd be good together. I mean, he always seems to be so cold, no relation to the zanpakuto, and just arrogant and you know I'm," Karin paused, thinking what to say that wouldn't sound arrogant or self-depreciating.  
>"Friendly, way too modest and if anything a bit of a hot head?" Tomoko interjected, smirking a little.<br>"Yeah, maybe," Karin laughed, "I guess he was just never like that around me when we first met. I was just a kid, not really someone he needed to be Hitsugaya-taicho around and then he just never seemed to put the façade up. I've always seen him smile, seen that he cares and will do stupid things in the spur of the moment."

Her voice faded out, and she looked up at the sky with a soft smile on her face. "I think I'm seeing him tonight actually," she muttered, remembering the note that had been left on her bed when she returned after training.

"Deets?" Tomoko demanded, literally poking at her for them, making the dark haired girl laugh and threaten tickling retaliation to earn her peace.  
>"Going to his house and he's going to cook me dinner. I'm borrowing the laptop Ichi-nii brought here and we're going to watch a film or something after."<br>"And after that?" Tomoko asked, winking at her companion and causing her to turn a bright tomato red. "Shush," Tomoko patted her arm, "I joke. I'd let you keep that private."

The two girls had a laugh, discussing what Karin was going to be wearing that night and how she was going to look, Tomoko asking to do something nice with her hair, using the excuse her own was too short for anything. When eventually the excitement had lessened to a muted buzz, Karin flipped the topic over to Tomoko's love life. Again, if that was the best term to apply to it.

"Meh, it's not serious and perfect like you and Toushiro, what with you being the only one to see his gentle side from day one and such. Just going on a few dates, messing around and then taking it from there." Tomoko said, but Karin just sensed something a bit off in her voice, confirmed when her friend broken eye contact and ran her hand through her hair. At most other times Karin would have laughed at the way it made her red fringe stick up in tufts.

"Are you sure Tomoe?"  
>"Kinda."<br>"Those were his words?"  
>"Nope mine. Mainly because he doesn't seem as into it and I'm going to have fun with what I can get."<p>

Karin frowned. "Sounds like an easy way for him to hurt you without even knowing."  
>Tomoko replied with a nod, "Yeah, but it's not like I've never had to deal with pain before. Enjoy every good moment and take the bad ones because every day brings the chance to heal."<p>

The two girls exchanged shy smiles. Pasts weren't overly talked about. They weren't necessary to their present or future but that sentiment was one they both shared. "You know," Tomoko began, "Sometimes I think if I'd had an easy life and never known sadness, it'd be like what makes me happy now would be an everyday thing and therefore in that life, it'd take me something even more extreme to feel that way. Kinda like, the more sadness you have the happier you can be. Or maybe I'm rambling and should just shut it. Yeah, that sounds like a plan," she finished pursing her lips slightly as she had a tendency to do when she was annoyed.

"Nah," Karin said, mulling the though over, "Sort of makes sense. Sort of."

"Ah well, better than making no sense at all. As it is, we should start getting you back for your date."

* * *

><p>Okay, apologies for the very short and even slower update, but the date next! :D I've kinda spent the last three or so months not writing and being studious for exams and now they're here, I'm back to writing and in denial that I'm going to be spending the next couple of weeks deciding my university fate. Joys. Oh well, at least Nottingham kinda gave me an offer and my gap yah means I'm probably going to end up reapplying :3 Ohh and if any students from Cal Tech, Harvard or MIT are reading this, don't suppose you'd want to kinda tell me about them? Can't really attend open days xD Hopefully see you again soon!<p>

Oh, and renaming all the chapters to The Fray songs, because they inspired this ^^

Ressie

P.S. Review if you have the time/ love to spare!


	10. She Is

Urgh, made the mistake of putting on the playlist with all my favourite Ed Sheeran songs on, meaning I took longer due to the necessity to sing along and if anyone's tried typing whilst singing… Yeah, I'm sorry if there are any lyrics left in here. As always, hope you enjoy this and please review, if I get to 50 reviews with this chapter I'll write a special celebratory one-shot ;)

If you don't want to review, look up Ed Sheeran instead. Or just do that. It'll probably make you happier in the long run.

Oh and warning: STRONG LANGUAGE AND SEXYNESS AHEAD

* * *

><p>Toushiro tumbled out of the shower, barely having time to run a towel over his hair and chuck on a yukata before legging it to the door. His cheeks twitched with a nervous smile and his stomach fluttered as he opened it. As rushed as this had been, the idea of Karin coming to his house left him buzzing with a scared excitement, a feeling that soon turned to absolute rage when he found Matsumoto on his doorstep instead. He closed his eyes and pinched his nose, taking a deep breath before asking her to state the exact reason for her visit in the most restrained and measured tone he could manage.<p>

"Just thought you could use these," she grinned back, thrusting a bunch of brilliant blue and white lilies in his direction. "Just realised you wouldn't have time to go to the florists in Rukongai and there's nowhere in Sereiti that does flowers as well as they do."

Her voice trailed off as she noticed the stance he was in. "Taicho?" she pressed nervously, thinking it may be a good time to start running. He slowly reached out and took her offering, still silent. That was worse than anything. "Taicho, I swear, it's all for your own goo-"

"Matsumoto?" he breathed, sending a shiver down her spine.  
>"Hai, taicho?"<br>"Leave. Now." Taking his hand away and raising his face, the fukutaicho was met with the full force of his glare. Her fastest shunpo was still too slow. Even once she was safe in her own room, she still checked over her shoulder for an enraged Toushiro. Knowing she was out of harms way she let out a nervous giggle before sighing with a smile, running her hands though her hair and brushing it off her face. He'd thank her for everything in the morning.

Toushiro grunted as he shut the door, before letting his face fall a little looking at the flowers. They really were beautiful, and smelled delicious. He should have been more grateful to Rangiku. She was only acting with his well being in mind, and no doubt she was thrilled at the idea her 'stuffy' taicho might actually be getting out of the office. And off her back. His mind flicked back to earlier that day.

_Toushiro glanced over at the clock, noting he was only ten minutes over his leaving time and more shockingly, Matsumoto was still in the office. He hadn't threatened her, and she wasn't there out of guilt but she was watching him like a hawk - he didn't know her concentration span could last that long._

"_Taicho~"  
>"Yes?" He looked up at her, dubious of her intentions. She only used that voice when she wanted something.<br>"Shouldn't you have gone home by now?"  
>"Have I ever gone home by now?"<br>"Well there was that day you want out with Karin-chan."_

_His eyes widened and mouth dropped, his fall of expressed matched by the sly grin that developed in hers. "Wha- How-"_

_She sauntered over to him, ruffling his hair as she passed. He closed his mouth and decided he didn't want to know. With a sigh he accepted it and got back to the work at hand, at least until she called out his name mid-way through the door. "I won't tell anyone taicho."_

_He allowed himself a soft smile, "Thanks Ran," he murmured. He rarely used her given name, let alone her nickname. Only when he was feeling particularly affectionate._

"_What are friends for, eh Toushiro? Oh, and just so you know I left her a letter this morning. Told her to be at your house in about an hour's time and you were going to cook her dinner. Anyway, have a good time and see you tomorrow sir!"_

_Her last sentence blurred into one word as she pace walked out of the door. Toushiro sat rock still, torn in two over the options presented to him. One: Kill his lieutenant. Two: Tidy his desk, run back to his, get ready and cooking, and pray he wasn't still in the shower by time Karin turned up. _

He could vaguely smell the tangerine marinade he'd left the duck soaking in, he remembered her sister cooking it for him in the real world one time and Karin saying she was particularly fond of it. Taking another deep breath, he ran a mental checklist; He was clean, food was started, house was in its usual state of being immaculately clean, he only needed to put on some smarter clothes and dry his goddamned thick hair and then he'd be ready. Checking the time on his soul-phone he saw he had about two minutes until the time Karin had been officially invited to arrive at. He formulated a picture of what he would wear in his head as he marched to his bedroom, opening the wardrobe door and going straight for underwear, followed by a pair of well cut black jeans and a crisp white shirt, hearing the knock at the door before he had time to don the last item. After a moment's hesitation, he threw it on and did it up as he walked then tucking it in with one hand whilst unlocking the door with the other. One last deep breathe. He opened the door and in a second that breath was stolen.

Karin's hair flowed around her face in soft sable waves, a little light make up dusted her face, drawing attention to her grey eyes' elegant almond shape, and the subtle angles of her cheeks and jaw. The slightly gloss on her lips made them look oh so kissable, and they drew into a pout as her eyebrows creased.

"Toushiro?"

Her voice sounded a little unsteady. She'd never really worn makeup aside from that one time and that had left her in a sense fearing it. It was supposed to make you beautiful but that time it made her feel so ugly. Tomoko had done this for her, barely spending any time with the dash of powders she'd used unlike the hours spent pouring over her before. Then it was used to hide all her 'faults' but her new friend had just brushed it on, mumbling about how she'd barely need any just to add a little extra details to her apparently already well shaped face. She'd felt so good on her way here.

Then Toushiro just stared. His mouth was open and his hand clamped down on the door he was holding a little. What the hell was she supposed to make of that?

Swiftly, he grabbed her hand, and she was pulled inside and the door shut behind her before she noticed what had happened. Deliberately, without taking his eyes off of her for a moment, he moved his hands to cup her face, thumbs just lightly brushing over her cheeks. "Karin," he whispered, savouring her name on his tongue. She caught his gaze.

"You're beautiful."

Her heart stopped. Her thoughts stopped. Somehow she registered that he was dropping his lips to hers, just enough to respond to the one, burning kiss he gave her before pulling her into his arms, one arm wrapped tight around her shoulders and the other hand loosely caught in her hair. He buried his face into the crook of her neck as in turn, her arms snaked around his waist and places a soft kiss on his. Drawing apart with reluctance, he looked at her face again, not even trying to stop the smile the spread over his face before infecting hers too. Suddenly from that, the excitement that had been humming through him for the last hour just crashed over him and he laughed, grabbing her by the hand and leading her through the house.

"So yeah, this is where I live," he said with his voice arush. "I mean, it's nothing like the Kuchiki Manor but it's home." He lead her through to the main living area. It had been renovated a lot since the connection with Ichigo and through him Uruhara, with many mod cons such as a television and stereo system making an appearance. Karin let out a light chuckle at it, it reminded her a little of Toushiro. Well, everyone puts their imprint on a house before it's a home but regardless. The walls were a brilliant white, and everything was simply arranged for convenience but then if you looked closer, you could seen little things that undermined the pristine and cold façade – from a path worn down on the carpet from him pacing or a photograph of Momo and his granny casually left on a side. The best one was there appeared to be a photo of him, Matsumoto, Ichigo, Rukia and Renji in the real world somehow attached to a wall just below where it joined the ceiling. Toushiro caught her looking.

"You can thank the combined efforts of your brother and Matsumoto for that. Ichigo did it a few weeks after joining Soul Society, when I refused to acknowledge his friendship in public he decided to remind me of it."

"So why's it up there?" Karin asked. It sounded exactly like something her brother would do, only she'd have expected him to do it somewhere more obvious. Like the front door, maybe.

"He knew I wouldn't be able to reach to get it down."

She burst out laughing, before trying to stifle it and failing horrifically, muttering some apologies for good measure, but Toushiro was smiling too. Apparently the growth spurt had cured him of his height complex. Wiping her eyes, she just bout managed to get out, "Couldn't you have found another way to take it down?"

"I had to keep rearranging and climbing on furniture to get to it, when it came back after the first three times I gave up. Anyway," he broke off from the topic, thinking about Ichigo whilst with Karin made him a tad nervous, "You want to follow through to the kitchen? Think dinner should be ready to cook by now. Hoping tangerine duck stir fry okay for you?"

His cocky grin gave away him already knowing the answer and Karin shook her head with a little disbelief. Following him through to the kitchen, she couldn't help but think that what she could smell of it so far was divine. She perched on a stool, ready to keep well out of his way. It wasn't that Karin was terrible at cooking, she'd just never had a need to do it. "You mind if I get on?" Toushiro asked, and she nodded, blushing a little as he came to stand in front of her, slipping to stand between her legs for a moment as he leant forward to kiss her, just lips moving lazily against each other, before he washed his hands and started with the food. There was some light conversation, chatting about the last couple of days, laughing at the various stories the other had to tell. And close as Karin had felt to Toushiro during their talk in the cave, just meaningless chatter was a nice change. It was fun. She listened attentively as he told her about reintroducing his lieutenant to paperwork and the proper procedures surrounding it. "After all," he said, "I might actually want to spend some time out of the office now," causing Karin to blush a little again. As much as he really liked the sarcastic and bold tomboy Karin could be, there was something endearing about that blush. He wondered if he should have told her that, as he plated up the food, then decided against it.

"Here, hope it compares to your sister's," he joked, putting the plate on the counter in front of Karin before taking the stool next to her, saying the proper blessings. "On the subject of Matsumoto," he began, deliberately looking away from Karin, "It was her who had the idea for tonight and invited you, instead of me." He looked down even further if that were possible, "She even got me flowers for you."

He felt bad, he could imagine it being kind of hurtful thinking the person you liked had invited you to the their place when in fact it was someone else doing it for them – made it appear like he didn't really care. One of Karin's hands covered the one he had left on the table and on her face was the brash grin he'd hardly seen since she came to the Soul Society.

"I guessed. The letter I got was in terrible handwriting and she left kisses at the end of it. But it's okay, your food's good enough to make up for it," she said, popping another bit of duck into her mouth as she finished to prove her point.

"Can you cook?" he asked her, realising he'd never once seen her do it in the world of the living and it would seem bizarre for her to be the only one not able to. Kami, he'd even seen Ichigo cook, and tried the surprisingly edible proof of it.

She nodded, swallowing her mouthful before she replied. Toushiro appreciated the manners – and people talking with their mouths full was one of his numerous pet hates. "I can, and have a couple of times, I'd just rather let Yuzu do it. She enjoys it far more than I do and the outcome's normally a lot tastier."

"Cool, just so you know, you owe me a meal now." He put his chopstick down for the last time with a smirk.  
>"Oh really?"<br>"Really."  
>"Yours is too yummy to follow," she laughed, jostling him slightly as she walked past to put her plate in the sink.<p>

"Just you is yummy enough for me."

Silence.  
>Heavy, and absolute.<br>The deep breath before the plunge, it would seem.

Then Karin all but howled with laughter.

Toushiro flushed a most unhealthy shade of red, adding to her mirth, and his slight mumble of, "I didn't realise I said that out loud," and the sudden interest in the kitchen counter didn't help. Even after his forced sigh and getting up to tidy away his own plate, she had barely stopped and was wiping a tear out of her eye with the few remnants of merriment still coming up. "Tosh," she said, her voice still lacking breath, "That must be the single cheesiest thing I have ever heard you say."

"Yeah, I'll remember not to anything like that again."

"Aww, don't be like that," she pouted, walking up behind him and wrapping her arms around his waist. "It was cute."  
>"And hilarious too apparently," he muttered, linking his fingers through hers to peel back her grip, before turning around and taking her hands again, lightly pressing his lips to one of them.<br>"True," she said after a moment's thought. "Still cute," and with a grin she quickly pressed her lips to his, before he steered her through into the living room.

"Oh, I brought Ichigo's latptop by the way. I thought maybe watch a film or something."  
>"No need," he chuckled, "Look in there," he indicated towards a cupboard next to the television. Curious, Karin opened it, letting out a small gasp when she saw it had a combination of DVDs and Blu Rays in there.<p>

"I thought you guys were supposed to live in the dark ages. I mean what happened to Rukia not even understanding the concept of a juice box?"

"I'm not entirely sure, but it happened sometimes since both Ichigo and Uruhara were allowed here. And when Ichigo discovered I had a bigger TV and it would be far more suitable for his film collection."

"He had to have been hiding these while he was at home," she mused. The family film collection was barely half the size of the mass here, and he'd had the cheek to take a couple of those.

With a grin, she waved, something in the air, "Hancock," she said with triumph, as if it were some sort of explanation. Toushiro just smiled and settled into the sofa, letting her put it on then tuck herself up beside him, with his arm instinctively wrapping around her shoulders.

He didn't tell her he'd seen it before, that it was one of her brother's favourites too. Meant he could spend less of his energy focussing on the film and more on he, how despite seeing it so many times already she'd smile at every joke, frown when it tugged at her heart and respond to every moment like she'd never seen it before. Unfortunately for her, he was less entertained by it, getting bored after about the first 45 minutes. First of all he started intermittently pressing kisses to her cheek, then exploring further down to her neck and collar bone, not minding that she wasn't too distracted from the film - he enjoyed kissing her. After he'd covered all available space, he gently eased her onto his lap, just grinning at her quizzical glance, before brushing her hair over her shoulder and starting all over again, his fingers lightly pressing into her stomach. Every now and then he heard a small moan or gasp he know was not related to the film and felt a small thrill at knowing he'd caused them. He moved his hands up to her shoulders then, slowly massaging and letting his fingers feel and work out the many knots they found. Excitement built up in him as he noticed they were on the final sequence and he'd soon have her full attention. The credits hand barely started rolling when she reached for the remote and turned the TV off.

He'd spent the last half hour or so showing his affections and now it was her turn. He couldn't find words to describe the look on her face but it sent a rush of adrenalin through him like no battle ever had. Slowly, deliberately she sat on him again, this time facing forwards and straddling his legs. One hand snaked around the back of his neck and grabbed a fist full of his hair whilst the other rested on his waist. He face hovered just in front of his, daring him to close the gap as he kneaded his fingers into the skin of her hips and tried his best not to stare at her slender legs, her previously knee length skirt now ridden to her upper thigh. Seeing her that close, those lips not touching his and that infuriating smell, he crumpled first and his lips crashed upon her, barely wasting time before his tongue met hers. It wasn't like their first kiss, where each had just been trying to gain control of the others movements, but the same frantic need was still there. He moved his tongue over hers to see how she responded and what it felt like when she did the same in turn, moaning himself when her tongue brushed over the inside of his teeth before he dragged a similar sound out of her, nipping at her lips with enough pain to spark the pleasure without actually hurting.

Her hands were the first to move, and she braced them against his chest fingers curling and feeling the hard muscle beneath them. It wasn't enough. With their mouths still moving feverishly, not caring about the smacking noises and moans they made, her hands raced to undo the buttons of his goddamned shirt, each one too fiddly and taking painfully long to complete. Toushiro felt it happening, felt her need to see and touch him and the restraint he held began to crumble, running his hands over her smooth, toned thighs, skimming up to the edge of her clothing. She pulled away from his mouth and his face fell as he thought he'd made her uncomfortable, only to then slip into a smirk as he noticed how her eyes were instead glued to the toned body she'd finally revealed. "Fucking hell Tosh," she whispered, tracing her touch over the dips and curves of his abs before gripping hard to his hips as her lips descended upon him, working her way down from his mouth and nipping along his jaw and down his neck, stopping to suck at his pulse point. Toushiro let out a hiss of pleasure, digging his hands into her skin before screwing reason and honour and slipping them under her skirt, squeezing her tight ass as she moved over his skin. It felt so fucking good. She moaned out his name and the sound went straight to his dick, before pressing her lips back over his.

By gods, she wanted to do so much to him. His hands were turning her on so much, and she wasn't sure if he even realised they were pushing her against his rock hard cock. In between kisses, she couldn't stop saying his name and a war waged inside of her, the two conflicting needs of wanting to touch and be touched. Thoughts barely comprehensive, she took of his hands in her own and moved it to her breast, his hazy and wondrous expression was a dangerous aphrodisiac. He gave a gentle experimental squeeze, eyes rolling shut and teeth chewing into his lips as he did so, her name tumbling from his lips. She took her hands off him and grabbed the hem of her shirt, she wanted to feel him on her skin.

Only, the next thing she felt, was his hands over hers.

Stopping her.

"Toushiro?"

Her voice was pained with need and a hurt that felt like rejection biting at her. His face was equally strained. This. Had. To. Stop. It felt like fucking paradise, but it was wrong. "If I let you do that," he breathed, her expression tempting him to abandon his next sentence, "I don't think I'll be able to stop Karin."

"So don't."

Her eyes challenged him and if he were anyone else, if he hadn't spent his whole life in Soul Society controlling his emotions regardless of what others said and did, he knew he'd have taken here. As it was, the lust haze was beginning to clear and his resolution got stronger. Against her mild resistance he pulled her into a hug, her arms wrapping around him and her burning face buried in his neck as he stroked her hair with one hand and held her close with the other.

"You're still young Karin. We've barely started seeing each other in this context and I want to make sure it's what you really want. Once you've given yourself away for the first time there's no going back." He pressed an apologetic kiss to her cheek.

"What do you mean?" She whispered, starting to calm down as she realised it wasn't her herself making him want to stop. He was doing it because he cared.

"Your first time, you might think it's just sex but it stays with you and I want it to be a good memory for you."

"You mean to say," she pulled away a little to look in his eyes and cup his cheek, "it wasn't for you?"

He nodded. "I didn't think I'd be bothered, I knew I was just another notch on her bedpost but still I did it with her. It was rushed and careless and I remember every fucking moment of it," he linked his fingers through hers on his face, "and along with that I remember the next morning when she'd gone and her smell hadn't and within days I saw her with another man. Not that I had any hold to her, but it really made me realise how little I had mattered. I don't want you to feel like that Karin," he placed a kiss on her forehead, "and that's because you do matter to me. More than you should."

She gave a sigh, "Isn't it normal to fall this fast for someone?" she asked though knowing the answer herself. She didn't really care, that was just how he made her feel.

After another hour or so or soft words and light touches he walked her back to 10th, and to her room upon seeing there were no other shinigami around. With one last kiss he bid her good night and left her with a promise to see her again soon. For a few moments after he left, she stood outside, mulling over the evening and smiling to herself.

She definitely never felt the person behind her approach.

* * *

><p>Longest chapter yet I think *passes out*<p>

And whoever could this be now?

Again, review if you have time please :)


	11. Over My Head

Teeny tiny chapter for now while I force myself to read back through the rest of this. I don't suppose anyone would like to volunteer to beta this or suggest someone who might? It will also involve kicking my arse into actually writing more than one chapter a year.

* * *

><p>"I'm surprised, surely it would make more sense for you to sleep with Abari-fukutaicho or Kuchiki-taicho?"<p>

Karin's mood did a quick cycle from her elated state, to confusion, hurt, and finally a simmering anger. Biting her tongue, she stayed facing the door and went to go it, but not before a hand had landed on her shoulder and jerked her back to come face to face with Hiro.

She stuck with her silent treatment and responded with only a fist to his face, resulting in the most satisfying thud and idea of the other shinigami sprawled on his backside, before mustering the remainder of her composure to glide into her room without even looking back at her work. The slamming of the door was a definite closure to any argument that might have happened.

Hiro sat up, cussing and spitting blood from his split lip. Stupid fucking human. In all honesty he had started to realize that his prejudices were a little unfounded, so had avoided all contact with her lest she notice any change in his attitude- he was too proud to give anyone the satisfaction of him admitting he was wrong. But now, seeing her with a taicho, his blood was boiling.

Hiro had long since accepted the fact that he was never going to be strong enough to progress up the ranks, and normally kept himself out of the way of those who could with little to no judgement on them but this girl, this stupid human girl who hadn't even graduated from the academy yet, sparked something in him that he only knew how to run into anger. Seeing her just then, with Hitsugaya-taicho's lips pressed to hers, the spark had become an inferno.

He spat again, picking himself up and stalking to the dojo in the hope that beating the living shit out of something would help this feeling burn itself out.

Karin however, had just collapsed on her bed, the incident put to the back of her mind whilst she slept and dreamt of other things and other people.

XOXOX

"Sooo, how was last night?" asked Matsumoto, all but tackling her taicho to the floor the second he walked into he office, however her words barely managing to register as Toushiro panicked and ducked out of her path. He may have grown but it still hadn't stopped her nearly suffocating him between those things that were too big to be breasts whenever she felt to urge to.

"Taicho~" she whined further, adding a pout to the mix now.

"Last night is none of your business," he huffed with a mock angry face that only held for a second or two before softening into a smile,"but it's the only time I'm going to say thank you for interfering in my love life, and I'm happy you did."

"You're welcome. What are friends for, eh?"

"Well right now, they're there for finishing the paperwork they stopped me doing yesterday," he replied,not even half serious. That warm buzzing feeling he'd woken up with only intensified as he realized how grateful he was to his fukutaicho. He may have spent years doing little but grumble about her but underneath her lax attidute to work she had always been there to look after him when he needed it without even asking for acknowledgement in return.

"Done."

There was a heavy silence in the air.

"Done? As in, you completed it before I got here without me even asking, let alone blackmailing, you into doing it?"

"No, done as it I just burnt the whole lot to make you think I'd finished it."

Matsumoto could bearly stifle her laugh at the look of sheer horror that passed over Toushiro's face. "Taicho! How could you even think I would do that? After all these years I've been nothing but a diligent and loyal member of your squad. But you can check in the right hand draw of your desk if you still need any convincing."

The captain's hand itched to reach for that draw, just to check. But no, he was going to trust her. It was not a reassuring notion, but one he felt all the better for after seeing the smile it left on her face. Silently, they both settled down to work, something neither could remember doing since their previous captain had disappeared and left them demoralized and burdened with his work.

XOXOX

"You have got to be joking," Karin mumbled to herself as she saw her sparring partner for the day. He stood as far away as possible, with every inch of him radiating an unbridled hostility. Their nameless zanpakuto raised to each other like snakes, promised to be singing with clashes as soon as the first move was made. Karin just stood, waiting. This fight would be so much more than a standard training session. He was out for revenge for the previous night, out to show her how much he disliked her and whatever point he was trying to prove would be done there and then.

Karin was split as to her opinion. She could give in to the anger that was telling her to finish whatever was going on, to make him stay away from her food good and realize that all this accusation of cheating her way to power was all bullshit. She was strong enough on her own.

Equally, there was an element of Hiro that said he was nothing but vulnerable, like a cornered animal that didn't know how to deal with the enemy it had been presented with. She may not have had her sister's level of compassion but neither was she so cold as to want to hurt something like that.

Regardless, the second they locked eyes, he flew at her. There was no holding back from his part, and regardless of the minimal injury rule every blow he struck was designed to hurt her but for every attack he had, she had a defense. It continued on, until Karin had come to understand the way Hiro fought and she began to make attracts of her own. His strokes became increasingly more rabid and desperate with all lessons of sword fighting techniques drowned out with a sheer desire to inflict what ever pain he could. Pushed back by her superior style and strength, Hiro made a final lunge at her throat whilst her own zanpakuto was being pulled back to strike again. There was a clatter as metal hit the floor and around those two alone there was a buzzing silence. Karin dropped her sword from where it had left the lightest of slashes across her opponent's chest and returned it to it's case on he hip.

"This is over."

As she turned her back on him, Hiro was left dazed. Coming back to his senses, oh so slowly, he picked up and replaced his own zanpakuto. The silence had been replaced by a roaring of blood in his ears. "No," he thought, "No it's not." Quietly, he followed her, watching her take corner after corner until hhe'd caught up. Either she did not know he was there, or more likely she was just ignoring him like a same child that she hoped would lose interest and just give up.

He grabbed her shoulder and spun her around to face him, and the lack of surprise on her face told him she had known what he was about to do. Instead, the anger she showed just further fueled his own. He shoved her back until he could pin her between himself and a wall, and worst of all was that she let him.

"Stupid bitch, think you're too above me to need to bother to fight me off?" he hissed.

"No, I'm just trying to figure out what the hell your problem with me is!" she spat back, still not showing any sign of breaking the hold she was in.

"You're the problem. You think you're just going to walk in from the human world and the rest of us mere shinigami are going to fawn over you and let you lead us? News flash: you are not your brother. He fought for us against Aizen, nearly died for us, and worked as a substitute shinigami before that. He deserves what he has but you," he leant forward for emphasis, to the point where it seemed barely an inch separated their faces, "are nothing. Sure, I heard about what happened at the zanpakuto caves but you've never had to be there on your own, face to face with a hollow. You've never once known what it's like to know you might die and for nothing but duty. You want to become a seated officer and lead us? You've never felt the fear we go through on duty, and have bugger all empathy with us. You don't deserve what you've been given here."

Hiro's breath was coming in shallow pants through gritted teeth as Karin looked him dead in the eye, "I'd never die just for duty. I'd die defending those who can't defend themselves. I would die knowing that even if I can't defeat an enemy or hollow, I might have beat it down enough that someone else might finish the job.

"Here's some news for you: there are hollows in the human world too. With the reiatsu levels around our family, where do you think they come to first? And who was there when Ichigo wasn't? No zanpakuto. No orders. No back up. All I had was a fucking football and my sister to protect." She shoved Hiro away and glared him down. "So shut up with all this crap about how I've had it so easy. You have absolutely no idea."

There were so many things to do in that moment that she would have expected from him, but throwing himself back at her, trapping her back between his body and the wall, and forcing his lips on to hers. That she was not prepared for. Too stunned to think or react, she stood there eyes open and felt it happen in sickening horror. He'd snaked his hands around her wrists and every squirm she made in an effort to escape he took for encouragement. That was all it took to return her to her senses. Turning her head away to free herself from his mouth she only had to whisper, "Stop," and it was Hiro's turn to feel himself break away from the spell of that moment. Shaking his head in sheer denial, he let go of her, looked at her once more. "I... I'm sorry," he managed to mumble before running.

With no destination in mind he ran until his legs burnt with the effort. Alone, somewhere he didn't recognize, he collapsed to his knees and screamed out of sheer emotion. "What the fuck?" was all he kept saying to himself. No one else was there to answer.

Karin just stood there, watching after him, completely at a loss as to what his next action might be. Her hand rested on the hilt of her zanpakuto from nothing but instinct and after a few moments she deemed it safe to turn her attention back to the surroundings. It was only then she felt the soft glow of another soul present.

Tomoko was by her side in a second, arms out as Karin dropped into them and took the support they promised, "Oh Karin," she said, her voice showing no hint of the childish nature she often put on, "What happened?"


End file.
